ugly people...(myspace entry)

beauty is an ideal everywhere you go....you see the face of a famous model in a billboard...or the nice body of a hunk in an underwear ad. Flawless skin graces a famous astringent's box or a gloriously-tanned actress appears on the cover of an international magazine...this is a period in history where beauty is revered as if it were as important as life itself...

when i think about these things my mind leads me to a period in my life where i was still young and had immediate crushes on boys who were virtually nobody in school or who in the opinion of my friends...were ugly...I remember one of my friends asking me who my current crush at that time was and then another friend answered for me saying that all they had to do was find someone unattractive and more than 80f the time that guy would be my latest flame hahaha...It's sometimes funny, sometimes not. But later in life these words led me to ponder...why indeed do I usually find attraction for the mediocre, the innocent and the subtle ones who do not stand out in many people's perspectives?

I do not know the exact answer but one thing i know...whenever I am around attractive people I sense so much ego, there is an atmosphere of arrogance around them or just a whiff of confidence which I often mistake as pride in their looks and I dislike it...I am appalled at the thought that they would think I want to be seen with them or be physically proximate with them because i want to share the limelight or I want to be near them because they are a sight for sore eyes and there is always an erotic motivation to my approaching them...I am turned off by the fact that I am doing this because of these reasons. I do not know if this is a deepseated insecurity or just a fear of rejection...

I do not understand but for me ugly people can be attractive in so many ways...It was more physical when i was in my younger years but now I realize the broad scope that the term "ugly" can cover....it covers also people who have something to hide. An insecurity, a deep dark secret, a liability. These things serve to make us unattractive or maybe not. The presence of these things may not make us perfect but it certainly makes us individual and different and unique. This is probably the appeal that lies in UGLY people for me. Now I understand myself more when I think of these things. Ugliness is not always bad after all...let me tell you...sometimes it pays to be UGLY....