Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
I think I am due for a crash, a burnout anytime within the next couple of days. In three days I have only slept 15 hours and most of these lumbers have been uneasy, oft-interrupted experiences. Although I can take comfort in the fact that the minute I close my eyes I don’t think I undergo rapid eye movement because I just fall into a comatose of exhaustion. I have not been resting well and I feel bad for my skin LOL. I am pretty sure anytime, sometime I will have a pimple or two because of this cycle. As you know already though if you have been following this blog for a long time, my physiological life is composed of cycles. There will be days of luxurious, fantastic 8-10 hour sleeps and then the inevitable 5-6 hour cycle follows. I am on the latter cycle apparently these days.
I have not been eating a lot because I have chosen not to. I am hell-bent at giving myself an Evelyn Salt body hahaha I have been very selective of what I put into my mouth!!! (PUN INTENDED hahahahahahah!). I’ve eaten a lot of fibers – broccoli, cauliflowers, leaves, carrots etcetera. I know this is healthy but now on this Singapore sojourn I have only been eating peanuts! Hahaha! Many people close to me know that I munch on these like a squirrel does on acorns. I try and eat as little as possible during trips because I am not able to work out. I do venture sometimes on the occasional piece of meat or pig out on some chips but that’s it. I really am determined on getting as wan as I can but this time only without the help of diet pills - that deadly medication which I was on not less than 2 years ago. Nobody really advised me on quitting those. I just felt it was high time to dispose of them and take on a healthier route towards becoming fit and hopefully thin.
I have been doing a lot of yoga back home. Basically my biggest expenditure has been my fitness when I was back home. I play badminton three times a week and I do yoga three times a week and that means I only ever have one rest day - all in the name of getting that Evelyn Salt gauntness and figure hahahaha. But it has been very good for me and my body and my overall circulation. The yoga teachers are lovely and wonderful and they encourage me to push myself further. All my friends compliment me on my more toned figure and applaud me on how fit I have gotten. The thing though is, when I leave the yoga studio, every little thing I do and learn there flies out the window. I do not practice it at home or anywhere else except in that sweaty factory of beautiful bodies. That explains why I eat less when I am away from the Philippines. It’s just compensation basically.
Yes I am due for a crash anytime these days. (And I hope you're there to save me when I do! hahahaa!) I do not know why but I am very fond of putting myself into overdrive and really testing my physical capabilities. I am restless and I am very active and so this restlessness manifests in many ways. I guess I can conclude that this is my body telling me that because I am not working out, you will have to work out in another way. Anyway I do work out a lot but I have company with me to do this hahahahahaha…this doesn’t make it all bad right?
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
There must be an appeal to simplicity and innocence that has long been lost somewhere deep within me. I am appreciative of sophistication and innovativeness of thought but I am fairly well-balanced enough to realize that naivete can sometimes be an outlet for an otherwise laser-paced lifestyle.
Welcome to my love of the Gummi Bears! Hahaha Childish I know but relatively humorous and playful which is why I love them! These cartoon characters actually were cast in an animated series which was broadcasted around my formative year-period. So watching them probably could have contributed to my overall childhood development which of course we all know is very crucial to later years of personality formation.
Enough of these technical rather cognitive psychology-sounding terms and on with the fun! There are real moments where I actually regress to my inner kid-hood and pig out on episode after episode after episode of the Adventures of the Gummi Bears. They’re a family of bears living in a pretty rustic but comfortable home underneath the ground safe and away from the human populace. They could have just looked like plain-looking bears with human attributes given they could talk and wear human-ish clothes except that they had Gummiberry juice, a magical liquid concoction which they carry in their pockets and belt-bags which when drank could make them jump and bounce as high as they wanted and with absolute flexibility. When drank by human beings it rendered them incredible strength. The potion was a brew manufactured with instructions from the annals of a book of magic potions and handed down from generation to generation of Gummi Bears.
It was their number one weapon, stronger than any ammunition they ever had because it gave them guile, speed, and superbear powers which they normally wouldn’t have without it. Their number one enemy was the Duke Sigmund Igthorn and his army of ogre soldiers who I think were also ravenous for bear flesh and carrion which is why the king found them easy to manipulate. Igthorn’s number one motivation though was to get a hold of the formulae for Gummiberry juice because he was well aware of the inhuman strength it gave to human beings and ogres when they drank it.
They had human friends too in the form of Princess Calla and Cavin, the boy who first discovered their lair and the Gummi Bears. Nobody ever knew about the existence of Gummi Bears though except for the aforementioned characters. They always seemed to melt into the background as soon as other human characters came into the picture. I guess it was to their advantage too because humans would have found them abominable for their anthropomorphism.
When I look into my addiction to this cartoon series I realize and I will dispute my earlier perspective, I think they’re not really stress valves for me, they’re actually part of my personality - loquacious and bubbly, talkative and slightly humorous. Sometimes I can say I have a devil-may-care attitude at certain points in my life but it is highly unlikely to manifest itself for a long time. This probably explains the gaps in the indulgence of viewing reruns of this animated series.
Ahhh of course nothing beats watching them when I was a kid. Memories come flooding back! Those afternoons of rushing home from school to be able to catch an episode before Mum shuts down the TV for homework to take over our monotonous weekday schedule. Sitting on the floor of our crude house with cousins watching the Gummi Bears was one of the many pleasures I have kept in my treasurebox of memories. It was good to digest such nonsense before our brain had to readjust to process school assignments and memorization!!! Haha now I am an adult and I have the power to watch them everytime I choose to. But somehow it feels different from before, and I wonder why….
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
I guess when it hits you it really does. This was the fate that befell our heroine, Audrey Tatou in the attractive French film, “Hors de Prix.” The title means “Priceless” in English. This is one of the flicks I have seen this year which I really adore because of the nonchalance of the pace of the film as well as the relevance to my so-called life! Hehehee….
There was a period of time earlier this year when I became crazy about French films. There was a charm to the language that appealed to me and the only way I could see and listen to French people talk for an extended period of time was to watch their films. There is the fact of course that there are many attractive French actors who help my cause and well many of their films also have interesting plots. There is just a certain styleto the way French films are made which make them unique but not necessarily appealing to mainstream viewers.
Irene (Audrey Tatou) is a gold-digging hooker who has a sugar daddy, Jacques, who buys her everything – Chanel dresses and shoes, expensive jewelry and five star accommodation. She was an expert at what she did and well what with her attractive face and finesse, she is quite the catch herself. Honestly in my opinion if not for the short dresses she wore and her excessive flashing of cleavage, she would never be mistaken for a prostitute because she was fantastically “ravissante!” and simply did not look the type.
All that high-class lifestyle ends when she meets Jean, a rather clueless but moderately attractive barman/waiter/driver in a hotel who was mistaken by Irene to be someone rich. They end up in bed twice, the last of which proved to be Irene’s undoing and fall from grace – Jacques finding out about her indiscretions. She gets thrown out of his life – credit card, diamond ring etcetera and all…
And her suffering culminate when shefinds out that Jean is a mere blue-collar worker, not the high roller she thought him to be. She flees to Nice to seek her fortunes once again, mini-skirt, cleavage and that gorgeous face as ammunition. Problem is she can’t seem to shake off Jean who has taken a fancy to her and followed her there. He initially thinks he has a chance with her and continues to woo her, fast becoming a nuisance. She punishes him by first pretending to be interested in her for a couple of days while stripping him off of everything – using his credit card to buy Gucci, Chanel etcetera. He ends up penniless and was about to be turned over onto the hands of policemen for failing to pay his hotel debt when a sudden twist of fate stepped in the form of an extremely rich, high society but older woman, Mrs. Pontini, who takes a fancy to him. His cluelessness and simplicity seem to press buttons in her. He becomes her boy-toy and companion throughout her stay in Nice. She takes him under her wing and starts to shower him with everything – expensive shirts and watches, a fancy scooter etcetera.
Jean, though, continues to hang onto his fascination with Irene. Irene has found another sugar daddy in the same hotel so they ran into each other constantly and Irene realizes she has found an equal in him. She teaches him the twists and turns of being a good escort, devious ways to hook your client. The golden rule of escorting is to extract as much as you can before your benefactor dumps you and moves on. They become fast friends as a result and throughout the film find moments of togetherness, exchanging ideas and comparing purchases made for them by their clients. Irene though does not realize she is slowly starting to fall for his innocent and unsophisticated ways.
The loveliest part of the film, deservingly, takes place when Irene meets Jacques again, her benefactor at the beginning of the film. It is at a party where many so called high-society people attend. Jacques is with another woman and Irene dons her revenge gear on. She convinces Jean, who has become more obsessed with her than ever after spending the night at a lovely beach in the outskirts of town, to seduce Jacques’ companion and teach him a lesson for throwing her out over a year ago. They trick her into believing he is a rich man – a familiar scheme. The girl falls for the trap and dumps Jacques, escorting Jean to his room. Jacques sees his woman go off with another man andsomehow sees this an opportunity to reunite with Irene. He decides he has forgiven her and tries to take a stab at being with her again. In their first-ever conversation after a year he asks Irene to keep him company throughout the week. But Irene realizes she has fallen head-over-heels in love with the young, simpleton, Jean, and she tells Jacques her future plans, “l’amoure!” (love!) and runs into the hotel corridor to stop Jean from ending up in bedwith Jacque’s original companion. The end sees them both riding into the uncertainty of the future but immersed in love and together at last.
Of course I believe the greatest lesson in the film is material things never suffice to satisfy our most important personal needs. The most essential things in life are the ones that are unseen, realities that transcend the more materialistic aspects of life. Perhaps another unspoken lesson is tenacity and grit can get you to a lot of places and afford you a lot of things. When you hang onto something and exercise patience, eventually it will become yours. Look at what Jean eventually earned, love and happiness….
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Enough of the morbid trend of writing I have been immersing myself in the last coupla weeks! It’s distressing and I am quite aware we need a bit of these moments of pondering and darkness in our lives but what can we do? We have our very own lives to live and we need to move on with ardor and assertion.
Let’s talk erotic! Mmmmmm… I have never been open about this part of my life and the few times I have been flirtatious and loose with the profanity it has been done with a lackadaisical humor which really does do the topic much in terms of seriousness. But erotic it is for the moment. I am sure I have more male viewership in this tiny space of mine than any other portion of the populace in this planet so I am going to try very hard to be as liberal as I can and avoid the political correctness that plagues most articles of this nature.
I’d like to think I am pleasing my man when I orgasm for him but more often than not I find myself thinking of the other men I have been with to achieve that sort of culmination! How’s that for an opening statement! Hahahaha. There are always sexual exploits that brand themselves in my mind far deeper than others and these are the moments I touch on when I want to climax. Think reruns of episodes of erotica from my past moments in my Wonderland of an imagination and you pretty much have an idea of what I sometimes do to get a libidinal high.
I know it’s a guilty pleasure that probably does not please the person I am currently with. Now I feel like shit! It may sort of disappoint him because I am thinking of other men when he is the one physically with me. I sort of sympathize with him on that but I hope he does not burden himself too much about this. This is because more often than not he may be part of the next episode of reruns when I climax next hahaha!!! And anyway what’s wrong with guilt? There will always be guilt in a sexual encounter don’t you think? hahahahaha
The thing is because I am very sexual and sensual how I define who and what constitutes these episodes that emblazon themselves in the sensuous corners of my brain is a very gray area-ish matter (no pun intended). There’s an episode where an exhibitionistic Englishman was making love to me from the balcony of his pad in Shanghai. Another could be a Frenchman’s fascination with licking my feet and worshipping the Nubian goddess that I am. An equally amusing moment would be me giving head to an American in a fire exit here in mall in sunny Singapore…Ohhh now that was casual and bordering on the dangerous side! I can conjure a whole lineup of beautiful scenarios! Danger, novelty, obsession, abandon appear to be key elements to many passionate moments I have archived! My God I am naughty!!!
Anyway with all this talk about indulging in beautiful sensual moments of the past and tinkering with my imagination, I AM DEFINITELY not taking the credit away from the magic of the NOW and the HERE. When I am with someone I often take in the surroundings, the atmosphere, the lights playing with the folds of the curtain, my beholder’s eyes, his movements…I hope that the boys I meet in the future do not underestimate the power of physical presence for nothing pleases me more than the effort of being present, being real and being there for me. That in itself is worth more than any episode in my library of cerebral erotica…:-)
Monday, August 16, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
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