Monday, January 28, 2013

insouciance and discombobulation ...




The past year has been quite eventful for me. Many realizations have come and have actually gone too. They're supposed to be part and parcel of every experience I ever have but I can assuredly tell myself that sometimes I've never really learned so it's natural to conclude that many realizations have also gone .. to oblivion ... the black hole of NON-learning. Tsk tsk ... I never wrote anything about my birthday or Christmas or the New Year. I guess I've outgrown carving notches on the totem pole of my life. Anyway as far as I'm concerned I'm going a long long way.



I've personally discovered, and many people have made me realize, that the older I've gotten the better I have become. Like fine wine, everyone tells me my body looks great, some say too skinny, my skin looks better, I've never looked better, I look younger, I feel younger, I still have the energy of a racehorse and I'm still keen to meet new people albeit maybe relatively limited in scope compared to the previous years. I always preach the gospel of sunblock and eye creams to a phenomenal extent. Just about everyone I've encountered or talk to always gets this piece of advice from me. And exercise and eating right ... TELL ME ABOUT IT. I've become such a fitness and healthy food junkie to ridiculous proportions. I have no idea, I've sort of developed this idea that our shelf lives can be improved by being conscious about everything we put in our mouth and the work we put into our bodies. AND VERY IRONIC that I do not really want a long life. Maybe just a premium quality short life, like Australian organic milk LOL ....




Many people's generosity have been so overwhelming and I am sure they have been well rewarded too. I do not like owing people favors because favors have high interest rates and I do not want to end up in a position where I have to pay more than I owe people, so as much as possible whatever gifts have come my way I've made sure there's a handsome return that came from this direction. On the net, on the chat engine, I've almost become invisible. There's so many endless possibilities to the outside world, and anyway the internet has become infested with trolls and rodents not to mention the ever-looming and attention-seeking Irish nuisance HAHAHAHA ... But I am happy I've kept to my business and have never interfered too much in anyone's. Like a snake I shed things quickly and rub them off quick to reveal fresh and new skin beneath. Maybe that has helped in keeping me refreshed and youthful ...




Sometimes though hatefully I want to admit that my mind plays tricks on me more so now than ever before. The short term memory is shot. Did I forget to lock my room door? Did I leave the car doors unlocked? It's reached a certain point where it's become disturbing. I would go back several times back upstairs or outside to check. It's worrisome. How can life not afford us such a perfect balance ???? Whereas I've started to look and feel younger my mind has sort of degenerated in this minor way. Life has never been so confusing.


 



And life has never been so short for someone I treated quite insouciantly. Remember I wrote a blog entry about a female neighbor who committed suicide a couple of years ago? I would think around the time I started this blog. Just last week her son died too and she bore the young fellow at such a young age too. He grew up to be quite unhealthy too, very obese and quite spoiled, like his mother. Thankfully he did not degenerate, in lifestyle, like his Mum did, but his body gave up on him. His obesity reached levels where there was respiratory problems developing already. A couple of years ago he could eat a whole cake. And this was before his teenage years. Can you imagine that? I think it's a sad state for such a young person. I do not really know how to feel about it, he probably had very little guidance in his young life and his physical lifestyle was neglected as a result. The only comfort we can take in the cessation of his life is that the poor fellow was probably ready to be reunited with his mother. He may have unconsciously wanted to have many questions in his life answered personally by his own mother. His life was chaotic to begin with ... I wonder if his biological father (who was never really identified AND seen all his life) made an appearance when he was laid to rest forever.


Welcome to the year 2013. May this year make me work on fulfilling my wishes as well as the unexpected ones. I don't dare hope they come true, I work on them coming true.