Sunday, November 23, 2008
There is always a point in our everyday lives where we forget about everything and just long to remain in that particular dimension and think of little or nothing else. We always retreat to that moment each day for our own personal reasons. Resistance of a destructive thought, comfort for our battered ego, or refuge for our weary minds, meaningful forays into happier times? It doesn't matter. We long to retreat to that point in space because we reach a state of NO-THOUGHT or LITTLE THOUGHT.
My mindless space takes on flesh and reality when I am in the act of running. When I am running, whether listening to music or not, I just follow a path, lines on a track, or the borders of a field and as far as I am concerned that is the only thing that occuppies space in my thoughts. I have found this endeavor to be my solitary confinement but it is not a dark space of uncertainty with a single thin line of brightness against a dark unknown world. It is an instant where I can just blank myself from anything cerebral and trudge on following the white line, watching my shoes come down on the ground from an elevated perspective, wipe the beads of sweat occasionally from my face, shove my hair out of my face if its getting in my eyes' ways, adjust my ponytail, click on my player if I dont like the music because it's slowing me down with its melancholic tempo....
Occasionally tears might run down my face! I have no idea if it's sweat escaping the barricade of my brows and streaming through to my lashes and onto my eyes or if these are genuine products of emotional blockage cracking up because of the failure of my desistance to let myself go. But most often it's the unexpected smile that's often seen by an outsider because I have let a funny or trivial thought intrude my mind in my zone of BLANKNESS...
I intend to keep this habit of mine for a long time simply because it's a worthy sojourn into an unknown state of myself. I am sure and yet unsure of what I am going to think or what I'm not going to think and this in itself makes it such a valuable exercise for my exhausted mind. My being enters into a strange homeostasis which keeps everything in a healthy balance and doesn't allow waverings from any part of me whether it be physical or mental. You should find your own sanctum of SEDATION too people. Believe me it works for me and I know it will work for you...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Are we going to see an episode where the "quit-when-tough" attitude is finally going to go out the window?
The infusion of commercialism into the race has been subtle but very incongruous. Of course any intelligent television outfit would see the benefit of sponsors to keep a show running. And the Amazing Race is not by any means gonna veer away from that belief.
The teams had to go into a Sony Style Electronics store to choose among a selection of one thousand CDs, place one inside a DVD player and see if the words "CORRECT (rest of the statement LOL)" would pop up on the television screen to be able to get their first clue.
This seemed easy enough if you have repetition, luck and patience at your side as key components in finishing. Luck was totally lacking though in the case of Ida And Tania who were almost ready to give up after they saw team after team leave the room. But they decided not to incur the four-hour penalty by just crawling through the mountains of CDs.
Luck only plays a certain percentage THOUGH in this tricky venture, patience would rather be a virtue a team wants to acquire here. This was why Mai and Oliver were stuck for hours inside the store until it closed at night time. And to think most of them came in at the opening hours of the store in the AM.
The Chinese guys Sam and Vince however created their own luck during the next couple of moments. The first to finish at the Sony Store, both of them were very lucky to face the ONLY ever Fast Forward in the Race. Fast Forward is a situation where both teams can bypass all the tasks and straight into the next Pit Stop by accomplishing something. This one dictated that they had to have tattooes to get the Fast Forward opportunity. With only a bit of hesitation they proceeded to the designated tattoo parlor afterwhich they proceeded to finish the race by being first at the pitstop naturally after finishing only one task!!!
Team Hong Kong seems to be a heavy favorite going into the final three as of speaking time :)
Many of the teams are stuck at the Sony establishment for some time while others will never get through.
Henry and Bernie are the next team to take on the next Road Block task of digging through a pile of coal inside a cart to retrieve a souvenir, a smallish coin. A Road Block requires only one teammate finish a job. This one requires Herculean proportions and Einstein-like precision because not only do you have to toil through the digging but you also have to be alert for the tiny souvenir in case you miss it and pile it among the rubble! Hahaha. But since A.D. and Fuzzie were present in the coal mine compound with Henry and Bernie, both teams decided to help each other by identifying the souvenir whoever finishes first.
Geoff and Tisha fought a lot while driving around looking for the Coal mine museum. Team Philippines appears to be crumbling emotionally because of Geoff's clear lack of patience and snappy ways. Like many of the teams that had become desperate with the problems brought about by directions in the map and with the confusing roads of Taiwan, they enlisted the help of a taxi eventually....
After digging through the dirt in the musem, the teams were faced with a Detour, Pick or Pail...
The Pick task dictates the players to bring out their precision and powers of estimation by picking up three stuffed toys inside a toy machine. First team to accomplish this would be able to get through to the next Pit Stop....
Unbelievably Mai and Oliver are still stuck at the Sony Style store sifting through the CDs from the very first task, and the mood is not jovial and energetic anymore. Trudging through the seemingly mountainous pile of CDs, they talk about giving up and incurring the four hour penalty....I was disheartened to see this scenario as the Thai team was among my favorites :(
Forward to the second task in the Detour, Pail required the team to go to the Grand Tong Temple to fill a bucket of water and then carry the pail through the stone steps to a monk waiting on top of the hill with his measuring stick to gage the correct amount needed. This was work reminiscent of a Bruce lee movie where the martial arts king carried two bucket loads of water through a flight of stairs towards the top of a temple as his apprentice duties dictated him. Eventhough this was not so easy for both women, Ida and Tania eventually labored at not spilling too much water while climbing through the steps. With a sigh of relief as the monk's stick indicated they had brought him just the right amount of water, they had just wisped through to the next pitstop.
The second team to finish HOURS later after Sam and Vince were Henry and Bernie and then A.D. and Fuzzie. Geoff and Tisha were fourth and Ida and Tania finished fifth.
But they never make it through to the store opening as host Allan Wu knocked them out of their exhausted slumber by waking them with a knock on their windows. He announced depressingly that all the teams had checked in so they would virtually be the last team to finish. They were eliminated from the race!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
3) Vince Matthew Chung and Samuel Wu - Hailing from Hong kong, Vince is a comedian show host and was once a teacher while Samuel is a top player of the word game Prolific.
4) Ida Nerina and Tania Khan - our second Malaysian team. Ida is an actress, director and producer while Tania is a property developer.
5) A.D. Chan and Faeza Sirajudin - describing themselves as colorful best girl friends from Singapore, A.D. is a freelance writer while Faeza (Fuzzie) is a teacher from Singapore. This pair is one of my favorite for the race simply because of their bubbly personalities!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Everything I have ever trusted in is starting to take on a facade of gossamer and falsehood. I have never felt this trapped in my life. I want to know who I can trust my most well-kept secrets with but it seems anyone within my life is far from being trustworthy.
Cracks are everywhere in our lives, we tend to look at a tiny crack and think to ourselves this is nothing. It will most likely repair itself after some time. But when we take a look a little bit later we've found that the crack has become a massive gaping hole which is beyond fixing. This is the situation with most people.
My scenario is worlds different. I never saw a misplaced part of the puzzle. I never found anything that was alarming. It just suddenly rocketed on me that the only thing I could ever give my trust to had suddenly become a huge cave of lies and deceit. How come I never saw this coming? What have I done wrong? Did I worship this thing too much which is why the bewilderment at its betrayal is beyond description? What will I do now that it has destroyed anything I have ever believed in?
I am a confused creature more so now that at any other point in my life. I used to be gregarious, dynamic and my zest for adventure was immeasurable. I felt that my productivity and thirst for anything novel could not be bound by any external stimulus. Now I am just a bag of discord and anxiety. There is now a lack of certainty that was not in the least bit evident a few months ago. The nymph that was once nimbling from one escapade to another is now a shivering sprite that wants to just forget about the despair she is now in....
Talk to me...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Hour upon hour, bleach powder on top of whitening soap on top of fruit extract astringent, the tedious process of turning my skin Lucy Liu-esque filled my whole schedule when I was not in school. I virtually turned my room and our bathroom into a whirlwind of flu-inducing powder and repulsive toxic smells.My Mom was scolding me to the heavens after each and every "mortuary" session in the hopes that I would come out with a Winona Ryder pallor haha...
Of course my efforts failed miserably!!!! Because my mom had dark skin and the genetic strain well...strained onto me, her only Negroid daughter LOL, it was impossible to defy genetics! Plus it would have taken a miracle to lighten my skin because I was naturally dark. You cannot change complexion well maybe you can make it lighter but you are always going to belong to the same hue in the human palette of skin shades! I never quite succeeded despite my valliance and loyalty to these routines. The results of such a regimen were disastrous! My body hair turned so white it looked like that of a street dog's haha My skin became so dry it seemed parchmental in texture...
A few years later I stopped all these. Then when I started travelling I began to somehow just enjoy and accept the reality of my natural darkish skin tone. This was probably because the Gospel of Moisturising preached itself unto me. I started to just invest in good lotions and I just liked the glow of dark(!!!) but very supple and taut skin. Also I discovered a few cosmetic brands which helped colored women look more natural when they wore makeup. Thank God for MAC makeup!!! hahahah I have a rather sizeable collection of brushes and powders and creams which celebrate my complexion! hehehe
I also have to give credit to the fact that in many ways the world had become small for me and appreciation of dark-skinned women became more visible in today's media. This was like finally finding the Valhalla of Norse beauty for me hehe. Plus many people began to compliment me me on how nice my skin was. It was a heady feeling for someone who not ten years ago felt so ugly because of her dark skin.
I know I am against all kinds of complacency especially when it comes to my looks but I realise that in many ways somehow the true meaning of satisfaction is appreciating and making do with what you already possess. Changing yourself constantly will only be a tiring process which will leave you suffocated just as I felt nauseous with the whitening powders i used to dab on my skin. Lesson learned...enjoy yourself, your beauty and thenyou will realize life becomes smoother and easier by doing so :)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
I read about this stuff on http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/ which is really one of the most groundbreaking blogs I have ever read in all of my blogging history. The story affected me so much eventhough I have written a blog about it. I felt compelled to write something again just to speak what was in my mind and heart.
There is no doubt that the harvesting of the organs of individuals in the last legs of their lives is a medical practice that has thrived in a world where millions of people with unhealthy body parts require them.
And there is no doubt that in many instances the most dehumanizing and demoralizing practices to acquire them happen. And this is not an urban legend.
Now the most chilling news to ever reach my ears on this topic....the planned and organised kidnapping of Filipino children to feed the insatiable economic market of organ acquisition and donation....
Is there any way a country can go this low? I am not aware of the inhuman acts happening in other countries but this has to be one of them. Can Filipinos actually do this to their fellowmen? The disturbing answer is yes they can....
The article below is frightening. The actual taking of innocent lives to harvest their living organs for their market value is more than a cardinal sin. Children being snatched by a group of people which includes a doctor, a 'security team,' driver and etc. so their healthy body parts can be removed to be stashed as merchandise for an insatiable market? Afterwhich their lifeless bodies are stuffed with Philippine pesos as compensation and left in the most unlikely of places? Their parents finding them afterwards in this horrific state.
This is an act that goes beyond Satanic. Has the Philippines become so poor that its people will heartlessly resort to such an act to float itself in a sea where survival of the fittest is defined by economic status? Would the world actually tolerate these acts of inhumanity and monstrosity to feed this profitable trade?
My eyes could not keep from crying when I read the article below. Can you imagine if this happened to my niece? My friend's son? My classmate's daughter? A neighbor's baby? What about if it happened to someone in your family? Your friends? The people closest to you?
As far back as 1995 Father Shay Cullen SSC Preda came out with a Document Titled: Killing Children For Their Organs that was published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer on the incidence of these new crimes happening in third world countries, to quote.
Yes this is the horrific trade that is taking the lives of thousands of children around the world. Not much has been heard about it but the evidence is mounting. There is a huge demand and a monied market in both developing and Northern countries for body parts especially eyes, hearts and kidneys of children.
A kidney or eyes can fetch $10,000, a heart $50,000 or more.
As a result the black market in children's organs for transplants is growing. With prices like that criminals will commit any crime. Impoverished parents are sometimes persuaded to sell their children's eyes or a kidney for as little as $500.
Trafficking in children's organs is the new crime against humanity together with selling children for sex.
A report based on the same study indicates an alarming crime, to quote:
In Pangasinan a 12 year old boy who was picked up by a brown van and brought to Manila where with several other children they were drugged and brought to a building that smelled like a clinic where they kept under guard. This boy recovered from the drugged sleep and escaped.
In recounting his story it became clear that the children were to undergo some operation although none were sick. Relatives of a youth who died from a fall from a Manila overpass claimed that in the hospital he was allowed to die - for his organs. Although this was never proven.
Lately, there has been a resurgence of the incidence according to Jean Stuart of Ground Report but PNP denies it is happening, to quote:
In Ibaan, Batangas four children were abducted. One of them were found with the pair of eyes missing and with Php 30,000 pesos on his/her mouth. Three were found with missing internal organs. There was also report in Tanauan, Batangas with a missing heart and Php 8,000 pesos on the hole of the victim’s chest. Lately, there have been reports that the kidnappings is not only happening in Batangas. There were also similar incidents in Cavite and Laguna. Last Wednesday, March 5, my friend told me that there was a third year high school student (from a school in San Pedro, Laguna) was abducted on her way home. I still haven’t heard about what happened to the victim.
I heard that a syndicate is behind this kidnapping and they are selling the organs to the black market. Text messages and email messages has been circulating saying that a white van with plate no. VMM 507 is said to be the kidnappers van. In our place the cartographic sketch of the kidnapper and the plate no. of the vehicle used by the kidnapper were posted everywhere.
Yaneehpooh on her multiply page posted the sketch of the suspect saying she saw a news clip on TVPatrol last march 7 regarding a botched kidnapping attempt where the would be victim luckily escape. The incident happened in Cavite where the young woman who was able to resist and escape saw a number of kidnapped children in the van.
In Baguio City a mountain resort in Northern Luzon another Ground Report by NomadicAsian on the subject where news of a failed abduction in one of the schools prompted school officials to suspend classes and sent all their students home.
Said incident occurred in broad daylight last March 6, 2008 (Thursday), though they failed the first time the kidnappers struck again the following day in another school just near the city proper. In said incident one of the kidnap syndicate member was collared by the responding policemen who is now under intense questioning.
Jhoy Imperial in her blog posted what she gathered at the friendster bulletin of her friend regarding 3 cases of kidnappings in San Pedro, Laguna.
In San Pedro a girl student 5th grader was found dead missing a kidney.
Another 3rd grade student also a girl is now in her funeral wake found lifeless, her eyes and heart harvested and P50K found inside her body.
Another case was at the Chrusantemum village where 2 girls were kidnapped; luckily a tricycle driver saw the incident and gave chase, the kidnappers threw the girls out the window and escaped.
At the Reysal supermarket 2 women was almost abducted but because of a group of istambay eyewitnesses rescued them from their abductors.This is almost surreal and unbelievable and it is easy to dismiss these incidents as mere urban legend but as they say better safe than sorry and if you see the following vans with plate number VXE 351 - Green Van and VMM 507 - White Van, report them immediately to the authorities. Just the same children of poverty are the most vulnerable in this heinous crimes if ever this is real and with abuse that our children are subjected to like throwing them in an adult jail I believe that this might just be for real.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Saturday, July 12, 2008
I mean there's nothing exceptional to it...her voice was not at its spanking best...
She didn't lend justice to the high notes of the song...
She kept waving her hands in a gesture which would immortalize her identity on stage...
But I still love the video...
Maybe it's the way she made the effort to sing a difficult song LIVE?
Ahh I'm hopeless LOL
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
For someone who grew up idolizing the sporting glories of the Soviet Union turned Unified Team turned Russia, this is an ideal lineup for me. I think i became conscious about the excitement sport brought into my life during the onset of the Barcelona 1992 Olympics. And this was the last Olympics where Russia and a couple of other Soviet States last dominated the Olympic medal count. As a result I grew up idolizing czarinas and screaming, thick-browed, intense Russian coaches and ice denizens from the Iron Curtain Capital. I became increasingly curious about the so-called "scientific training" their countries offered to their world-class athletes as well as the sporting camps that house these superpeople. What went on behind those walls that they have produced world-record holders and superhuman performers? How were they sculpted and moulded to become larger-than-life figures?
We may never know the secrets behind the Communist sporting regime but controversies continually surround the development of these superstar athletes. First of all the popular belief that there was systematic and immense encouragement of the use of performance-enhancing drugs is very common and has been proven many times I believe. Second the severity of the emotional stress caused by the plucking of very young individuals with a high sporting potential from their families is widely circulated among sports psychologists and analysts. Third, the uncertainty of a financial career outside their sporting glories was almost always inevitable based on many athlete's personal accounts and stories. Think about the emotional distress these people felt when they were showered with attention and revered almost as gods when they could break records and do anything better than us and then being brought back to a humiliating position after their physical flames have died...
For the outsider like me who can do little to help, the best I can do is perhaps admire from a distance these beings who can and were able to run, jump and throw faster, higher and further than me, a mere human being. To wish I were in that position many years ago is perhaps one of the greatest tributes I can give them. To pore over sporting almanacs, articles and read about their invincibility and to afford my admiration would probably be good enough eventhough these people would not have an inkling that from this Third-World, struggling athletic nation, a great admirer lives to revere their sporting glories yesterday until the present....
Thank you for the generosity!!! Lingerie is life!!! Enjoy everyone and always spread the amazing love of the big bad WINKLERGIRL !!!...
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