Thursday, January 24, 2019

it's complicated..






When was the last time you wanted to rewind things
To the way they used to be... like on a cassette tape, rewind
Back to that part of the song you liked...

It's been years since I have gotten emotionally immersed
In someone but yes The past couple of weeks have become
An emotional rollercoaster that has brought me to the
Ups and oblivion of being cared for and given attention
And held special by someone
.... to the pain and scathing remarks and hurtful words
Hurled by not only that special someone but by my own
Actions and words towards him... because I felt
Losing him would make me lose myself...

Such an investment that is hard to capitulate and predict;
This thing called fatal love.

I'm aware and am apologetic of everything and of course
Guilty of many things...
I guess i am just waiting for some sort of closure
But I guess not... closure for me is defeat... but yes
We fall, we fail, we come back..
But the emotional wreckage, hard to fathom and take..

For the moment I will try live life in full speed and
Just forget about things.. because things make us
Remember joys and highs we miss...

I am sorry...i know fuck my sorry's if i keep
Comitting the same mistakes over and over again..

But I fell hard....for the guy, I am unapologetic about
This.... πŸ’”

Life goes on...