rediscovering the child....(myspace entry)

One of the best things about life is realizations can come to you in an instant...in a flash of a second...so quick and fast! You never expect something like that to happen but then it does and then after the moment, you start to contemplate about the moment...lessons learned, the past, what can be done to give significance to the moment...

Christmas Eve and I was late for the family dinner with uncles and aunts and cousins and nieces and nephews. I was eating all by myself at the dinner table and everyone was already enjoying themselves, talking and catching up on the latest news and updating themselves with the latest happenings in their lives and their current location and stuff like that...

I saw my favorite nephew and I asked him to approach me. I smothered him with kisses and on a very sudden impulse, asked him what he wanted as a Chrismas gift. He told me about a new wrist toy which he saw on one of his peers which made a bleeping sound when pressed. I had a feeling he was dying to have one of them and was green with envy at his pal. So I asked him to ask his mother how much the toy was. He said it was worth this and that and he already knew the price and need not ask his Mother. So i went back to my room to pick up some money and I had no idea he had followed me and was asking one of my house companions where I was. Haha...very precocious child...So i gave him some money and he asked my uncle, his grandfather to bring him to the store so he could buy the toy immediately! Haha see? I was right about him wanting so much to have that toy!

Then I thought, this is the probably best way to find your childhood again. To give back to the next generation what you received earlier in life. I mean as kids and even as adults we are all so preoccupied with what we can get out of something. What we can get out of a bond, out of a connection that we fail to see what we can give. As a kid I was always looking forward to these occasions because I would then be showered with gifts. It even came to a point where I wanted too much that I asked myself why I did not have that many godfathers or godmothers or uncles! It also came to a point where I thought it was obligatory for them to give me gifts on special occasions...Pathetic isn't it? But at that moment when I gave my young nephew a simple glimpse of momentary happiness, I was overwhelmed with emotions and I realized that feeling fulfilled does not only mean getting and winning it all but also making others feel happy at the thought that they received something from you. It is the very essence of sharing. To give back to others what you have received from other people....

depech mode...(myspace entry)

because of the dozens of worms and viruses one gets from the infamous music download engine limewire i decided to uninstall mine and promised myself to reinstall it only at times when i decided i needed new music to fill in one of my blank CDs or mp3 player....

Then Depeche Mode came into my life LOL
I reinstalled my limewire and downloaded all Depeche Mode songs and played them until my ears got hurt from listening to it all...Now ever the critique and analyst that I am..I am trying to analyze why I have suddenly spiralled into this obsession with their music! I am suddenly listening to nothing but Depeche mode! Oh God help! LOL

It has to be David Gahan's phenomenally haunting voice which borders between a perfect baritone and an eerie whisper which causes a deep reaction from his listeners...I mean which female listener does not feel some sexual pressure listening to his voice I feel it myself and I don't know how he has this effect on me...It is so weird and strange and I don't know how to describe it...maybe it's because his voice really digs deep into me or maybe it's not too easy to associate his plunging voice with that perversely cute face! hahahaha i am so weird...

Or maybe it's the group's unique way of attacking music...they have a beat they use which sounds very carnal and myterious which hooks the male listeners as well too! Ah astounding! I could never claim to be a music expert or a venerable critic but I think it is the lethal combination of those two..Gahan's voice and their unique musical wizardry that makes their music very very likable....

Right now I am so listening over and over one of their mid 90's song i think "It's no Good" and I love it! I love it I love it I love it...I adore it and I'm listening to it like crazy!!

Oh dear God bless Depeche Mode for making them a part of the musical industry and history as well...I sure hope they don't become history as they're not selling as much as during the New Wave Days of the 80's era but anyway being a CLASSIC is not too bad right?

girl interrupted in hongkong ...(myspace entry)

I don't know if my stay in Hongkong in December 2006 was a good one or a bad one. I can't simply describe the range of emotions that I went through, from getting crazy bored inside the four walls of my cavernous room to a point where i wanted to hang myself from sheer boredom and homesickness TO enjoying the simple ecstasy of carrying many shopping bags in my hand as I walked Nathan Road or Harbor City heheee...I know I'm shameless when it comes to impulsive purchases but I'm not a girl for nothing you know...well at least something resembling that hehe...

Anyway I think that the time I had in Hongkong was the most touristy type of travel I ever had...I know there is no such word in the dictionary but it was the closest I became to being quite the tourist...I rode the MTR like everybody else...I shopped in the cheap street markets like everybody did, I even ate wanton noodles with the giant meat balls in it at a Chinese eatery with Chinese people inside...not a Caucasian face to be found inside...It was a hilarious experience totally with the waitresses probably laughing behind my back how I did not know how to use the chopsticks and eating the noodles in an unusual way...To hell with them though...this was part of the charm of being a tourist alone and a girl Uninterrupted in her own little world...don't you think so?

For a girl used to the tropics, Hongkong was very cold and this only meant one thing! The streets became a cornucopia of nice sweaters and tweed jackets and legwarmers and boots and colorful scarves and coats and it was a wonderful sight to see...I've never been fond of layering as it was not possible to layer in such a hot country from where I came from but by God i was able to do it in Hongkong out of sheer survival purposes cause it was just biting cold...I know you guys who live in the Northern countries will scorn at me and mock that Hongkong was fucking hot when they were there cause they're used to subzero temperatures at home but fuck off! Being cold and hot is contextual and this is cold for me...and anyway its my body not theirs who is feeling the temperatural kaleidoscope LOL

All in all it was I think an experience that made me learn a lot of things...Not being just conventional and middle-of-the-road by taking the easy way...I did not take a taxi EVER while i was in Hongkong which meant that I probably did accomplish some navigational skills and some geographical hullaballoo and of course some basic reading skills as their subway stations are hilariously simple to understand as to where the trains were going and stuff...but I could say I was proud of myself for accomplishing many things while I was there and that was being a simple tourist who consulted maps and pestered people for directions and got lost sometimes and that was part of the charm of it all....

my curtain call....(myspace entry)

i have had the last laugh haha

isn't it odd when some relationships end...the two parties always make it a point to let the other party know that they are fine, doing very well almost to the point that they make you sense that they're doing better more than ever than when they were with you in that relationship? I guess it's human instinct to try to make the other person feel down about oneself and that one had moved on and that the relationship was something one wanted to forget and abandon because of its forgettability.

Well guess what? isn't it so surprising that the person who felt that he or she was at a disadvantage finally knew that in the end he or she had the last laugh? When he or she discovers that his or her partner was not only lying that he or she had moved on but he or she was doing badly after the relationship and that nothing that changed in his or her life except for the fact that he or she does not have you anymore and he or she will forever mourn that loss? Haha talk about licking one's wounds! When one feels that there was salt and pepper actually added onto those wounds one feels a very innate satisfaction that in the end pretention that one is moving on and having the time of his life is sometimes not the best action to take but admittance that there was a loss when the relationship ended!!!
I finally knew I had the last laugh hahaha!

teacher teacher...(myspace entry)

if i had a teacher which looked like this...oh my Gawd hahahaha

i would......

forget about skipping classes!!!!...

never be late for class!!!!...

join all the clubs he presides in!!!!...

always do my homework!!!!...

participate in classroom discussions!!!!...

be attentive in class!!!!...

forget about classmate interacton!!!!...

raise my hand if he asks something even if i don't know the answer!!!!LOL...

listen intently to every word he says!!!!...

bring him an apple a day!!!!...

volunteer for after class tutorials!!!! hahahahahaha

ugly people...(myspace entry)

beauty is an ideal everywhere you go....you see the face of a famous model in a billboard...or the nice body of a hunk in an underwear ad. Flawless skin graces a famous astringent's box or a gloriously-tanned actress appears on the cover of an international magazine...this is a period in history where beauty is revered as if it were as important as life itself...

when i think about these things my mind leads me to a period in my life where i was still young and had immediate crushes on boys who were virtually nobody in school or who in the opinion of my friends...were ugly...I remember one of my friends asking me who my current crush at that time was and then another friend answered for me saying that all they had to do was find someone unattractive and more than 80f the time that guy would be my latest flame hahaha...It's sometimes funny, sometimes not. But later in life these words led me to ponder...why indeed do I usually find attraction for the mediocre, the innocent and the subtle ones who do not stand out in many people's perspectives?

I do not know the exact answer but one thing i know...whenever I am around attractive people I sense so much ego, there is an atmosphere of arrogance around them or just a whiff of confidence which I often mistake as pride in their looks and I dislike it...I am appalled at the thought that they would think I want to be seen with them or be physically proximate with them because i want to share the limelight or I want to be near them because they are a sight for sore eyes and there is always an erotic motivation to my approaching them...I am turned off by the fact that I am doing this because of these reasons. I do not know if this is a deepseated insecurity or just a fear of rejection...

I do not understand but for me ugly people can be attractive in so many ways...It was more physical when i was in my younger years but now I realize the broad scope that the term "ugly" can cover....it covers also people who have something to hide. An insecurity, a deep dark secret, a liability. These things serve to make us unattractive or maybe not. The presence of these things may not make us perfect but it certainly makes us individual and different and unique. This is probably the appeal that lies in UGLY people for me. Now I understand myself more when I think of these things. Ugliness is not always bad after all...let me tell you...sometimes it pays to be UGLY....

thoughts from the myspace blog...

let's go back in time....

take a look at the entries of my blog from my old (hacked!!!) myspace account...

the next few days ill repost some of the insane but early writings of the earliest thoughts i have ever had the courage to post on the net...

this will all happen so fast because i made many writings too so don't be surprised to find three or four writings in a day...i dint conjure them entries all in one day hahahahahaha

enjoy and have a wonderful glimpse into my persona again....

i love you all...

i loove duran2X !!!!!!!

click click click!!! (or if it doesn't work click on LAUNCH STANDALONE PLAYER)

tuneup...

i believe i needed this kind of wakeup call...and what an impact it had on me! LOL

for three days now i have been stuck in bed, sick and feverish, hot and cold, sweaty and chilling, experiencing the gamut of emotions ranging from mild moanings to hair-pulling insanity...
i think this is the worst case of tonsillitis i have ever had as it seems like not even a tiny piece of crumb could pass through my throat (God knows how much crap I've stuffed up it HAHAHAHHAHAHA) without causing some form of swallowing difficulty or pain...

And then the fever came and it was a hellhole of a weekend for me...I SMSed all friends telling them I may not last long and Death was lingering on my bed. I was ready to turn in my will and dispose my numerous bags and shoes, electronic gadgets, makeup and perfumes and the numbing population of silk, cotton and cashmere and sometimes leather goods called clothes in my makeshift closets in the hopes that someone might come and be interested to keep me company LOL. Not surprisingly all but one wished me well and thought they might visit me tomorrow or the next day yaddaa yiddee yaddaaaa....LOL

But in the end it made me realize I guess my body needed this kind of breakdown. Like any automobile, piece of machinery or electronic gadget, my body needed a tuneup and it obviously showed very obvious signs. So I gave myself a very relaxed routine throughout my ordeal and started watching insane DVDs which I would never have dreamt doing before. I guess laziness has long been overdue me considering what a WHOREkaholic I have become hahahaha but yes to just lie on your back and let the screen do the work for you seems to have become very refreshing! It gave me whole new perspective about life beyond a computer screen.

Of course all forms of gratitude is due for many people who wished me well online and offline...through SMS and in person...and of course my numero uno nurse, chef and errand extraordinaire, Momma. I guess no one does better than Mamacita when we're knocking on death's door LOL hahaha

hugs and kisses the Phoenix returns!!!!

love me...my VIP LOUNGE!!!!

the VIP LOFT....

hello everyone!!!

I'm Liisa, the crazy little priestess of this temple...thoughtful, crazy, cute, cerebral, highly volatile...i am a person who wants people to experience the different levels of my character and personality through my creativity, communication and entrepreneurial skills...

I am creating a YAHOO GROUP called the Winkler VIP LOUNGE .... this group is an exclusive loft for the people closest to me...these people will get updates, BLOG entries (yes before they hit my blog and also some i cant manage to put there!!!) news and MOST importantly PICTURES of me before they hit the internet with only a tiny winklergirl blogspot mark and none of those marketing shite...of course this is merely by invitation from me and also constitutes a few deals and agreements which we can discuss through email

to find out how to get into this exclusive orgy errr group please email me: gfharrypotters@yahoo.com

pixies, elves and vixens....in Hongkong and Singapore...

the most beautiful place on Earth..

beautiful places are decided for many factors...there are always universally accepted beautiful places for their sheer popularity as well as many factors combining to give them that title....

but this place is the most wonderful attraction for me. One of the main reasons is I saw this in Indiana Jones, the Lost Crusades when i was very young and I will never forget the awe this structure gave me from the large screen! A complete temple carved out of rock? Or is it? Through the years I could never quite piece out how I was never able to know the exact name of the place but now it has an identity to it now...I guess it adds to the charm and magnificence this wonder has had on me hehehe

Ahhh someday I shall my image snapped up in front of Khazneh in Petra...and then I can tell myself I am not that far off from dreams really huh?

Black....

i have always had a perverse liking for the very dark films...
those with storylines that are very depressing and somewhat horrific which jolts the human capacity and almost instantaneous desire to achieve homeostasis everytime they veer off their comfort zone....The cinematography and technical cohesiveness combining to supplement an already-excellent "dark film" script is almost certain to stir my bowels and make me enjoy the movie...

Itim is a Filipino word which means "black." It could either refer to that color or hue in the painter's pallets or our color wheel as the darkest possible shade the human eye can recognize or in another context it refers to vagueness, the unknown, taboo, and many many references...It is also the title of the movie I am referring to, a stirringly gorgeous masterpiece of Director Mike De Leon.

Beautiful motion picture that it is, it depicts the unearthly experiences of a photographer as he comes to discover a skeleton in his paralyzed father's past. His surgeon dad had performed an abortion on a woman he had had an affair with in the past. He had also killed the woman (whether intentionally or as a result of the complications from the abortion procedure I have forgotten) and thrown her into a river. Both the father and the son at present time in the video were caught up in the maelstrom of the anger of an unseen yet omnipresent entity. Painful recollections and confessions from father to son was an expected spice to the film. The son had glimpses of clues in dreams and seconds-fast apparitions of people whose identities he had no inkling whatsoever...until everything fell into place at the end of the film...of course hehehe

The movie is very very mind-boggling not in the sense that you have to think too much (well you do have to think to string the clues and events together) but because most of the scenes were so disturbingly quiet and others so symbolic. Small hints of light afforded by the slight opening of a door to a very dark room, shapeless beings in the most unlikely of places, religious icons, and hazy riverside scenarios in the characters' dreams, uncomfortably long moments of silence among others I have forgotten already all adhere to give the movie a very intense impact on me.

The movie deals with many issues too in Philippine society even today. Adultery, abortion, and honor and face in the Philippine community are just among them. In a strange juxtaposition, the prevalent condemnation of the Roman Catholic Church on extramarital affairs matches against the wide social tolerance for womanising in today's Filipino male culture. Our social strata has many ironies within its realms, a clown with one side of his face smiling and the other in tears would be an acceptable symbol of our society I presume....

My biggest frustration is the movie is too old to have archived pictures. I believe some classic film collectors and vintage Filipino movie lovers may have original videos and WOULD be able to take snaps of moments in the film and then upload it to the net for people to see but I have not found any. :( (It would have been nice to share the magnetic effect the film has with my readers but of course what am I saying? I don't think any image can match the effect a moving video has though!

Itim by Mike de Leon....what an experience...no doubt if I catch it again on a boring Saturday night on Filipino movie channel I would watch it rather than get drunk in some hot and packed bar with the bitch LOL (sorry bitch my inner cinephile will prevail over you but i love you LOL)...

uncle sam's Lolita....

hail the land of the world's biggest

democracy, the Big Apple, McDonald's and

Calvin Klein.....LOL!!!!!

the Oriad Princess...will see you in HONGKONG and SINGAPURA

princess Liisa shall see you in these places and on these dates...

I hope you have time to see the grandeur that is.....my luggage LOL

P.S. sorry for the delay peepz i know I have no excuse I just been lazy the past weekend but the diagrams for the United States and the Australian and French flags are in the works.....arrgh (i hope that was valid enough excuse to warrant me more time LOL )

lunga vita all'Italia

long live italy!!!!

a hobby by accident....

being an aspiring artist (I did create comics before when i was really really young) I suddenly found a hobby which seemed fun and made the hours melt away...

...and i know it's insane and i don't even know if in the eyes of Pablo Picasso or Vermeer or Goya it is aesthetically pleasing or a sore sight to their eyes, but it was easy, fun and different! It was also an indirect crash course in Patience 101 (which I have so little of hahahaha) !!!!

and i did a little self promotion of course....hehehe

shall I do your flag next?????

ninfa della foresta, die fee des Waldes, ninfa del bosque

can you put sunblock on me gorgeousssss???????

OH my God!!!!

Marion Bartoli demolishes Justine Henin, number one player in women's tennis, in the third set....1-6, 7-5, 6-1!!!!!!!!!!!

as if the rains destroying 2007 Wimbledon's schedule is not enough of a shocker !!!!

i loved the match!!!! and i wrote this just two minutes after the wicked French bitch shocked Centre Court hahahahaha....

these are the moments that make life worth livinggggg LOL

Oh Pan, nestle me into thy arms...thy abode is an oasis for me....

Everyone who worships my temple....

Bow down...kneel...shake in fright...kiss the ground i tread upon...

The Forest Nymph Chronicles will be here soon......

Armageddon is coming Armageddon is coming....


P.S. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
(reading too much Sidney Sheldon... i have become so neurotic to the superlative degree hahaha LOL)