New Season's Resolutions....

1) Iron Curtain Policy ....


I would like to give this label to my first resolution because I want to make walls in places which deserve a boundary. I have become too accessible, accommodating, and too open. As a result I am being pillaged, mangled and severed in ways I sometimes lack awareness of. The past few months, I have been noticing that I am giving more to people who should really not be warranting something of a SIGNIFICANT VALUE from me....how so? why so?

I hate it when some people seem to demand more time and attention than they deserve. They occupy my oversqueezed and malnourished pulp of a brain too much and as a result are more than just headaches for me. The consequence does not affect me when I look at it from the here-and-now standpoint. It may be a minor bump I can remedy with salve during that instant. But little do I know that during the long run the irritability that these people cause me can amount to a considerable degree which ground my receding husk further...

People can be ungrateful. Some girls tap AND plunder my resources in many ways. Bitches who claim to be friends are wenches who lack gratitude by doing everything dirty from copying my writing styles to asking favors from me to blatantly asking for money. When they have had their way with me, they are never around when I need their aid. I do not necessarily expect a favor back in return but acknowledgement that they are still around for me are well-appreciated, you know!

Another example is PEOPLE who demand SO MUCH of my attention and diversion so that it becomes difficult for me to concentrate on tasks I am used to having a one-tracked attention on. Why should you NOT BE ABLE to understand that people ALWAYS deserve their own personal bubbles? So many people are so invasive of my time, even with the awareness that I am preoccupied at the moment. When I say I am busy it does not necessarily mean work is the reason. Sometimes I just need space perhaps to think, listen to music, relax or finger myself or MORE IMPORTANTLY get some sleep. LOL Bottomline is if I say I'm busy I am BUSY and if I say I am not then I really am not. Please respect other peoples' time because I do respect your personal calendar, your families, etc.

Stop spreading rumors about me to increase my fame and notoriety because first of all I do not need your marketing wizardry, and second rumors are not such a powerful tool to increase the popularity of a certain person because they're mere whiffs of aromas which are all the time deceptive. Misleading does not even begin to describe them. Damaging, asinine, and destructive are words which may help concretize the concept.

The winklergirl factory like Willy Wonka's in the film shall close its gates and work in secrecy like a Russian sports camp. What formulae, stratagem and sorcery I employ shall be known to me and only me. I will wisely choose the individuals I surround myself with. People who want to enter my abode will need to be "granted" the Golden ticket only because I want them to have it and I have to force myself to trust them. I have become too open to too many people that my factory has run decrepit because of invasion and misuse of its resources. I am going to be alone in my battles once again but what the heck! We all are alone in the end and I shall celebrate my own triumphs and I shall take the flack if I stumble.


2.) Exercise

Sex is an exercise but I have to wonder why I am getting lethargic, dull and rickety the last couple of months. I am beginning to wonder if the wonders offered by Deepak Chopra-esque physical gymnastics are realistic. In my daily routines, I get tired so easily and as a result I settle into sleepwalk-like sojourns to the malls, friends' houses or the neighborhood. I know it may be because my carbohydrate intake is a lot lower than other people but I also do know that a large percentage of this half-life physical existence is due to lack of movement in all the right joints and ligaments of the structure called my body.

I used to play sports before but have ceased to because I did not like my arms to look like Bruce Lee's (not that they probably aren't now HAHAHAHAHHA). But then guys do probably love Angelina Jolie arms or Jennifer Garner's physiques eh? I personally love their bodies and they do exercise! That part I know but they have personal trainers and I am way off that lifestyle. Diet can only get me so far. I have to admit one of my biggest cardinal health sin is the intake of medicine to suppress appetite. I know this can get out-of-hand and is very lethal to many systems of the body. I do eat healthy when I have the chance which is most of the time but these tablets of venom I need to abandon.....

Diet is not the only answer to looking gamine and fit. I am going to have to indulge myself in physical fitness again. So I guess I have to haul my ass over to some temple of sweaty bodies (arrrgh please no more physical contacts I hope LOL) or a regimented camp of driven individuals. I do hope to reinvigorate my body to help it produce biothermal energy for a healthier existence and exercise is obviously the way.


3.) Be wiser with money

Oh my God women are the object of derision when it comes to impulsive purchases and I am their mistress. I have a whole fucking mountain of unused gizmos and salves which after a careful assessment would leave me scratching my scalp to eternal thindom as to the reason for purchasing such an object.

From lotions to makeup, to clothes to shoes, to electronics to pages of literati, I was a mindless collect-and-never-select mechanical device. It came to a point where immigration in Singapore gave me a bitch of a time because the contents of my laptop bag also included underwear and dildos because my purchases took the bulk of my luggage HAHAHAHAHA.

Now the only way is to look at it from a monetary perspective. Save it, don't waste it. I still have an endless supply of Shu Uemura collagen cream so why buy more as if World War 3 is gonna commence tomorrow night and my skin will wither without my crazy skin regimen within a 24-hour period. Converting the money into my country's currency in my imagination will also help as I know that even if I deserve my haunting the stores for some strategic and tactical pillaging of those lovely items lined up on display beckoning to my wallet like sirens to the drunken sailors, I really should save my dollars. I shall start to install in my brain a personal reminder in the form of the awareness of the poverty level in my country reaching to a point where children merely clap their hands when they belt out Christmas carols near the traffic lights because they cannot EVEN afford the materials to make musical instruments out of wooden sticks, bottle caps and nails. (BUT IF the reason for such a reality is LAZINESS and lack of CREATIVITY in the course of their short existence, then may they rot in hell until they reach puberty AHAHAHHA boy call me mean call me mean LOL)

Those are probably good ways to use my imagination when I am reaching for that bottle of verdant and floral scent, or that new cosmetic hue to splatter on my eyes. At least if I keep those tangible realities I might give a second thought on bringing the item to the counter to rape my wallet off its bludgeoning cash.


brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrttt (to be continued)
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Resolutions, resolutions, resolutions.....the cocktail called my brain is at a standstill once again so I shall reserve the other resolutions on the next few entries I will make....

love me...shower me with love, kindness, generosity, L'Occitane, Billabong and Roxy small size tees (HAHAHA), Coco Chanel scents and manjuice from your phallus ......... my brain shall run on diesel engine forever LOL

Ta ta for now...


hugs and kisses
winklergirl