an elusive creature...

my hours are totally screwed-up...night becomes day, day becomes night, afternoons become moments of yawning and resuscitation and mornings become hours of completely vegetative comatose on my bed....


for a couple of years now I have been plagued by insomnia...that terrible condition where you just have a hard time letting go of thoughts in your mind which prevent you from having a spectacular sleep...


my condition I think is very unusual...the attacks are cyclical...there will be a string of days or weeks where not even warm milk or counting to infinity and beyond could lull me to sleep...I know it's case to case basis! What works for one may not work for another individual...but MY case is just helpless LOL...nothing works at all hahahahhaa ... no solution in every book i have read or column i have encountered could prevent it from happening...and when i finally manage to enter dreamworld, i have no idea how I even got there hahahahaha!

Then there will be days of fabulous, fantastic, phenomenal slumbers of 8 to 12 hours! They come in strings of days too like strands of pearl in a lace! I have no idea how I would enter into this part of the cycle, I mean I am not even doing anything special or remotely different from my usual routine to be gifted with such an almost sinful luxury in my case hahahaha

anyway i know it's a drastic measure and i should not be even thinking about it but i have resorted to sleeping pills...i know yeah castigate me, whip my ass, lecture me about the hazards of such a popular medication but hey try putting your ass in my place where the minute your mind wipes off a cobweb or two your brain instantly pumps diesel into itself from an unknown source and does not stop running until God knows when! see? i live a hard life too so be easy on the medical gallivantings of the dangers of drug dependence on sleep tabs! hehehehe

i have no idea how i can solve this problem and if you have any suggestions please feel free to pop up a comment or two HAHAHHAA (what a way to solicit comments!!!! LOL)....seriously though i think that first and foremost i will get rid of the quick yet scary solution that sleep tabs give me. and believe me i am starting it now on this trip. I was so lucky to put in 6 hours of sleeptoday without the help of any kind of medication so i should be proud of myself as much as an alcoholic would be proud of reducing four packs of Coors to three and three fourths of a pack a day hahahhaa

well like anything i have ever accomplished before, i figure I should take it a step at a time, little by little....well Rome was not built in a day or a journey of a thousand miles begins with getting your lazy ass off the couch and etc. etc. etc. :) so I guess I will do that...

and so it has begun for me...the road to seeking the elusive animal called 9-hour sleeps and no matter how endangered it has become in this era of work, stress and extreme physical exertion, i continue to pray that he may not go extinct as far as my case is concerned :)