depech mode...(myspace entry)

because of the dozens of worms and viruses one gets from the infamous music download engine limewire i decided to uninstall mine and promised myself to reinstall it only at times when i decided i needed new music to fill in one of my blank CDs or mp3 player....

Then Depeche Mode came into my life LOL
I reinstalled my limewire and downloaded all Depeche Mode songs and played them until my ears got hurt from listening to it all...Now ever the critique and analyst that I am..I am trying to analyze why I have suddenly spiralled into this obsession with their music! I am suddenly listening to nothing but Depeche mode! Oh God help! LOL

It has to be David Gahan's phenomenally haunting voice which borders between a perfect baritone and an eerie whisper which causes a deep reaction from his listeners...I mean which female listener does not feel some sexual pressure listening to his voice I feel it myself and I don't know how he has this effect on me...It is so weird and strange and I don't know how to describe it...maybe it's because his voice really digs deep into me or maybe it's not too easy to associate his plunging voice with that perversely cute face! hahahaha i am so weird...

Or maybe it's the group's unique way of attacking music...they have a beat they use which sounds very carnal and myterious which hooks the male listeners as well too! Ah astounding! I could never claim to be a music expert or a venerable critic but I think it is the lethal combination of those two..Gahan's voice and their unique musical wizardry that makes their music very very likable....

Right now I am so listening over and over one of their mid 90's song i think "It's no Good" and I love it! I love it I love it I love it...I adore it and I'm listening to it like crazy!!

Oh dear God bless Depeche Mode for making them a part of the musical industry and history as well...I sure hope they don't become history as they're not selling as much as during the New Wave Days of the 80's era but anyway being a CLASSIC is not too bad right?

girl interrupted in hongkong ...(myspace entry)

I don't know if my stay in Hongkong in December 2006 was a good one or a bad one. I can't simply describe the range of emotions that I went through, from getting crazy bored inside the four walls of my cavernous room to a point where i wanted to hang myself from sheer boredom and homesickness TO enjoying the simple ecstasy of carrying many shopping bags in my hand as I walked Nathan Road or Harbor City heheee...I know I'm shameless when it comes to impulsive purchases but I'm not a girl for nothing you know...well at least something resembling that hehe...

Anyway I think that the time I had in Hongkong was the most touristy type of travel I ever had...I know there is no such word in the dictionary but it was the closest I became to being quite the tourist...I rode the MTR like everybody else...I shopped in the cheap street markets like everybody did, I even ate wanton noodles with the giant meat balls in it at a Chinese eatery with Chinese people inside...not a Caucasian face to be found inside...It was a hilarious experience totally with the waitresses probably laughing behind my back how I did not know how to use the chopsticks and eating the noodles in an unusual way...To hell with them though...this was part of the charm of being a tourist alone and a girl Uninterrupted in her own little world...don't you think so?

For a girl used to the tropics, Hongkong was very cold and this only meant one thing! The streets became a cornucopia of nice sweaters and tweed jackets and legwarmers and boots and colorful scarves and coats and it was a wonderful sight to see...I've never been fond of layering as it was not possible to layer in such a hot country from where I came from but by God i was able to do it in Hongkong out of sheer survival purposes cause it was just biting cold...I know you guys who live in the Northern countries will scorn at me and mock that Hongkong was fucking hot when they were there cause they're used to subzero temperatures at home but fuck off! Being cold and hot is contextual and this is cold for me...and anyway its my body not theirs who is feeling the temperatural kaleidoscope LOL

All in all it was I think an experience that made me learn a lot of things...Not being just conventional and middle-of-the-road by taking the easy way...I did not take a taxi EVER while i was in Hongkong which meant that I probably did accomplish some navigational skills and some geographical hullaballoo and of course some basic reading skills as their subway stations are hilariously simple to understand as to where the trains were going and stuff...but I could say I was proud of myself for accomplishing many things while I was there and that was being a simple tourist who consulted maps and pestered people for directions and got lost sometimes and that was part of the charm of it all....

my curtain call....(myspace entry)

i have had the last laugh haha

isn't it odd when some relationships end...the two parties always make it a point to let the other party know that they are fine, doing very well almost to the point that they make you sense that they're doing better more than ever than when they were with you in that relationship? I guess it's human instinct to try to make the other person feel down about oneself and that one had moved on and that the relationship was something one wanted to forget and abandon because of its forgettability.

Well guess what? isn't it so surprising that the person who felt that he or she was at a disadvantage finally knew that in the end he or she had the last laugh? When he or she discovers that his or her partner was not only lying that he or she had moved on but he or she was doing badly after the relationship and that nothing that changed in his or her life except for the fact that he or she does not have you anymore and he or she will forever mourn that loss? Haha talk about licking one's wounds! When one feels that there was salt and pepper actually added onto those wounds one feels a very innate satisfaction that in the end pretention that one is moving on and having the time of his life is sometimes not the best action to take but admittance that there was a loss when the relationship ended!!!
I finally knew I had the last laugh hahaha!

teacher teacher...(myspace entry)

if i had a teacher which looked like this...oh my Gawd hahahaha

i would......

forget about skipping classes!!!!...

never be late for class!!!!...

join all the clubs he presides in!!!!...

always do my homework!!!!...

participate in classroom discussions!!!!...

be attentive in class!!!!...

forget about classmate interacton!!!!...

raise my hand if he asks something even if i don't know the answer!!!!LOL...

listen intently to every word he says!!!!...

bring him an apple a day!!!!...

volunteer for after class tutorials!!!! hahahahahaha

ugly people...(myspace entry)

beauty is an ideal everywhere you go....you see the face of a famous model in a billboard...or the nice body of a hunk in an underwear ad. Flawless skin graces a famous astringent's box or a gloriously-tanned actress appears on the cover of an international magazine...this is a period in history where beauty is revered as if it were as important as life itself...

when i think about these things my mind leads me to a period in my life where i was still young and had immediate crushes on boys who were virtually nobody in school or who in the opinion of my friends...were ugly...I remember one of my friends asking me who my current crush at that time was and then another friend answered for me saying that all they had to do was find someone unattractive and more than 80f the time that guy would be my latest flame hahaha...It's sometimes funny, sometimes not. But later in life these words led me to ponder...why indeed do I usually find attraction for the mediocre, the innocent and the subtle ones who do not stand out in many people's perspectives?

I do not know the exact answer but one thing i know...whenever I am around attractive people I sense so much ego, there is an atmosphere of arrogance around them or just a whiff of confidence which I often mistake as pride in their looks and I dislike it...I am appalled at the thought that they would think I want to be seen with them or be physically proximate with them because i want to share the limelight or I want to be near them because they are a sight for sore eyes and there is always an erotic motivation to my approaching them...I am turned off by the fact that I am doing this because of these reasons. I do not know if this is a deepseated insecurity or just a fear of rejection...

I do not understand but for me ugly people can be attractive in so many ways...It was more physical when i was in my younger years but now I realize the broad scope that the term "ugly" can cover....it covers also people who have something to hide. An insecurity, a deep dark secret, a liability. These things serve to make us unattractive or maybe not. The presence of these things may not make us perfect but it certainly makes us individual and different and unique. This is probably the appeal that lies in UGLY people for me. Now I understand myself more when I think of these things. Ugliness is not always bad after all...let me tell you...sometimes it pays to be UGLY....

thoughts from the myspace blog...

let's go back in time....

take a look at the entries of my blog from my old (hacked!!!) myspace account...

the next few days ill repost some of the insane but early writings of the earliest thoughts i have ever had the courage to post on the net...

this will all happen so fast because i made many writings too so don't be surprised to find three or four writings in a day...i dint conjure them entries all in one day hahahahahaha

enjoy and have a wonderful glimpse into my persona again....

i love you all...

i loove duran2X !!!!!!!

click click click!!! (or if it doesn't work click on LAUNCH STANDALONE PLAYER)

tuneup...

i believe i needed this kind of wakeup call...and what an impact it had on me! LOL

for three days now i have been stuck in bed, sick and feverish, hot and cold, sweaty and chilling, experiencing the gamut of emotions ranging from mild moanings to hair-pulling insanity...
i think this is the worst case of tonsillitis i have ever had as it seems like not even a tiny piece of crumb could pass through my throat (God knows how much crap I've stuffed up it HAHAHAHHAHAHA) without causing some form of swallowing difficulty or pain...

And then the fever came and it was a hellhole of a weekend for me...I SMSed all friends telling them I may not last long and Death was lingering on my bed. I was ready to turn in my will and dispose my numerous bags and shoes, electronic gadgets, makeup and perfumes and the numbing population of silk, cotton and cashmere and sometimes leather goods called clothes in my makeshift closets in the hopes that someone might come and be interested to keep me company LOL. Not surprisingly all but one wished me well and thought they might visit me tomorrow or the next day yaddaa yiddee yaddaaaa....LOL

But in the end it made me realize I guess my body needed this kind of breakdown. Like any automobile, piece of machinery or electronic gadget, my body needed a tuneup and it obviously showed very obvious signs. So I gave myself a very relaxed routine throughout my ordeal and started watching insane DVDs which I would never have dreamt doing before. I guess laziness has long been overdue me considering what a WHOREkaholic I have become hahahaha but yes to just lie on your back and let the screen do the work for you seems to have become very refreshing! It gave me whole new perspective about life beyond a computer screen.

Of course all forms of gratitude is due for many people who wished me well online and offline...through SMS and in person...and of course my numero uno nurse, chef and errand extraordinaire, Momma. I guess no one does better than Mamacita when we're knocking on death's door LOL hahaha

hugs and kisses the Phoenix returns!!!!