Thursday, April 23, 2009
When i was younger my summer days were dotted with lots of wonderful experiences, playing games till I could move no more at the end of the day, more fun during the night time as there were no classes the day after, watching basketball leagues filled with lots of gawking for cute, guys in action haha. It was a heady time of the year for me.
Well probably the highlight of each summer was the official crush of the season. I always seem to develop a liking for a cute face in the middle or beginning of the summer season. Come to think of it though most of the boys I would like where not really statistically handsome. I mean they would not have to necessarily fit the definition of clear-cut cute. But they always seem to make something skip a beat inside me hahaha
There would be stolen glances, and stuck tongues, whenever I saw THE crush of that season. Somehow I could never get to admit to him that I like him as I was always the shy young kid. More so because friends would be more than ready to make fun of how silly I acted whenever he was around. I would try to act as normally whenever he was near but deep inside I also wanted to just let know I wanted to be great great friends with him. But somehow I could not. It would feel like getting torn between forces I could not define.
The crush crush trend gradually began to disappear as I went through college and then never really picked up after I graduated. I guess it just got lost in the search for greener pastures or finding new hobbies to indulge in and new interests to pursue. Meeting more people also perhaps helped make the trend vanish as well as understanding the nature of the male creature haha. I guess there it was also just a matter of personal growth. Growth involving realizations from experiences. I guess the reality that how you feel towards someone would not be necessarily reciprocated made the experience lose its magic. For me at least haha.
But this summer, it's back to haunt me haha. There is a sweet guy who is hovering around me and somehow it's all galloping heartbeat again but none of the tongue-tiedness and awkwardness. I seem to be a bit more confident about handling guys now. We talk a lot and he seems but God knows I can't afford to be anything serious now hahaha. It's really funny. Somehow something is flitting in my head now and I guess I look forward to seeing him, of course with my friends and his.
I guess this is just the summer crush trend returning again. Somehow I have to admit it couldn't be anything but a mere crush or specifically a fling thing because I don't wanna get into anything I really do not want to yet. Plus I guess I am not ready. But for sure i am going to indulge in the presence and fun of it all. It is a nice way to dispel the heat aside from hitting the beach too much!
P.S. the guy in the photo is not the current crush :)
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