bone deep

when a bone-deep sadness overtakes your senses, you cannot help but break down and cry. Is crying a negative emotion? Why do people ask you, "Why are you crying"? Not all kinds of tears connote negative emotions you know. Some have relief in them, a few maybe a sense of awakening and even some, tears of joy. But mine for sure is a mixture of homesickness, emotional upheavals, mental highs and lows and some moderate form of depression. I know myself well. I do not know myself well. Both statements are true nevertheless. You do not understand? They speak for themselves.

The geothermal energy of our emotions gush out in many outlets and one of them is crying. I cannot speak for everyone but crying seems to be my volcano of molten, hot and trapped feelings of a whole gamut of emotions...guilt, resentment, hurtfulness...many things. When I need to erupt, crying is the lava that flows from my internal engine. The catastrophic results may be minor, some may be life-long. I have no idea which ones are life long but I seem to have many issues...

It must be good because many days after I look at the moment, I am able to laugh at it and talk to people about it. There are lessons learned and maybe useless tears but they are never without their reasons...