armors....

who are you? what are you?

should I just be blunt? and tell people...My name is Jane...I screw people for money?

Easy for me to say here i guess. My blog is my desensitizer and my antianxiety board. It also happens to be my domain which is why I can say anything I want to say here. Going back to my topic, aren't circumstance AND people tricky fuckers? Most of the time I have to assess the situation before I tell people the truth right? Or should i just really be blatant about what I really am? Then again my name is not really Jane....hahaha

Now you have to ask yourself, my faithful blog reader, why this suddenly random thought or rant? In many ways this is not really a spontaneous write. I have been hinting and meaning to tell the world what I really am for the longest time now. Yes I do entertain men for money. Behind closed doors most of the time, sometimes out in public, wining and dining... Entertaining is contextual, you know, most of the time it adheres to what the client wants. "Client is God and his words are gospel," as I have been known to quote many a people hihihihi.....Ohhh look at your little eyes....

But then yes sometimes the situation needs to be analyzed. A mask is a very effective mechanism for creating a deceptively beautiful picture. Sometimes people do not really want to know everything about us. The handsome guy who is my next-block neighbor may not be able to keep a straight face if I tell him what I really do, or so do the other handsome guys who are my next-myspace profile neighbor hahahaha! There must be a hint of mystery, a question behind each person for "interestingness" to exist in our daily boring realities, mustn't there? Otherwise we would be a freaking democratic nation hahahaha! That's why I told you my name is Jane too in case you have not figured it out just yet haha!

But layers and layers of paint and powder to cover up the self can also be destructive. IT causes irreparable damage to the skin, IT being makeup THAT IS as pointed by my figurative language, the self "which is our real essence." Honesty and openness is very refreshing in our cabaret of a world where appearances are deceiving and eventually exhausting with the fakeness and ingenuity of it all. The world was somehow not meant to be a puppet show all the time. Otherwise we would never find real happiness, wouldn't we? Somehow at some point we do have to tell someone the truth or should we just let nature take its course? Or should we take on the peel-away principle? You probably are asking yourself what that is. Well it is a self-contrived term which means that you reveal certain layers of yourself to different levels of people you are acquainted with. You tell your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend certain truths about you. Then you start to place layers on your own reality as you go progressively from person to person, individual to individual...Again assess assess assess study study study the circumstance. right?....Ooooh I am thinking too much which is bad for me hahaha ...

But there it is, I have just laid myself out for all the world to finally know. I am courtesan, whore, geisha (who by the way are not necessarily selling flesh), practitioner of the world's most ancient profession...whatever you want to label me. I am a MATA HARI, meat for sale in a lucrative (???) market, a character in Toulouse-Lautrec's artworks, a slut in Nana Plaza, Bangkok! Is there really a difference? You tell me!!!

You wanna ask me, "who are you?" My real name is ....

Plain Jane...

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahah!

P.S. Thanks to the movie "Closer." It's inspirational. Watch it, starring Julia Roberts, Jude Law, the oh so-pedestalic Natalie Portman, Jude Law.