But ironically I seem to have attracted a particularly ravenous young individual who is eager to feed off of me, learn new things, explore new avenues or simply just tick on a particular predilection in case it might provide a necessary outlet to alleviate some past childhood trauma or simply forge a path towards self-discovery - what pleases him and what doesn't.
Or maybe there's also this possibility that I am the one feeding off of THE YOUNG MAN. I feel refreshed and reinvigorated after each encounter as if his youth and vibrance are the very nectars I've needed to felt replenished and sated. Why do I think this latter possibility more plausible? Well it seems my penchant for adventure, for something more freewheeling has increased as time goes by. Like second wind for an exhausted athlete, the freshman encounter is like new oxygen entering my lungs' depleted supply. Like dessert, his youth has filled a void where I am indulging in what sugary treat they can offer me. Because of our sensual experiences I've sort of settled into a Bohemian lifestyle plateau where my opiate is keeping my affairs with the young and taut, regular and yet regulated. Regulated because I value connection too. I am not some promiscuous rodent who mindlessly copulates to pleasure herself and almost wants to propagate the continuation of the species LOL. I have chosen him and a few others.
I'm not saying my more mature lovers have not been as exciting though. They offer a different kind of entertainment for me. I'd like to think of them as feeding off of me. The natural perfumes and juices of my body, as well as my innate charm and intellect the narcotics that my older lovers indulge in whenever they need a fix of the strange, the erotic, the sensual and entertaining. I need them too. Their wisdom and aggressiveness is appealing to me. Worship is reassuring, a barometer of how desirable I still am. I need them to consume me too. I can't have an extreme abundance of essences. I need to unload some to maintain the balance. Greed is all-consuming and an easy pitfall towards complacence. I can't afford to rest on what few leaves are left of my laurels...
Maybe I shouldn't feel as debilitated and primeval as I should. There's an appeal to the mature woman which is inexplicable. She is capable, and has many devices at her disposal. She wields it like a shaman his ominous predictions Maybe that's why there's this young person who worships me and never refuses my predation on him. Eat or be eaten, but he likes to use his mouth more than met haha. He loves to go down on me, like a hungry cub. The key I guess is to never to inflate my expectations. He will be immature, he will be irresponsible. He won't be able keep up with my intellectual level of conversation. He is a sweet confection not the main course. I will enjoy the ride, he most certainly will. For as long as it lasts we will have something to give it to each other. I just hope the liaison will provide him with many beautiful memories and valuable lessons when we manage to escape each other and this addicting void we have found each other in at this point in time.
