To experience the most extraordinary of things is the best way to know ourselves. How else can we know what our boundaries are if we do not stretch ourselves from the given path we trod?
The fact is this is totally weird for me to admit but I think more recently I have been attracted to very attractive gay men. Haha! See I am even laughing at myself, at gay men, at straight people, at the world for saying this and revealing to everyone who reads ME know but I have developed a sort of fondness towards them!!! OK I admit it, I only have a certain attraction towards ONLY one cute fellow right now who is a friend of a friend and my pal is the only living creature who knows about it and she doesn't even know my level of interest in him hahaha! I have to admit I have mastered the talent to fake my immense and intense attraction to someone even with my best friends. Haha The growing trend towards watching more gay male porn is perhaps uncovering the indelible? Or encouraging this detestable behavior? hahahahahahaha! How unusual but nevertheless inevitable perhaps?
Why inevitable? I am surrounded by lots of attractive gay people. They're wonderful friends and great company anytime, anywhere of day. However because I know them on a quite personal level superseding hi's and hello's it is but natural to develop any attraction for someone cut from the same paper as them but not of the same quality I hope. First of all gayness I think has certain levels and there are levels of flamboyance that I disdain! Don't mistake me though, I love my pals!! I just couldn't be attracted to them though hahaha! But then again isn't that a golden rule? You try to never let the interest level go to a higher level with friends? hahaha
TRUTH: It is the physical and sexual appeal that defines the whole magnetic pull towards luscious gay men for me hehehe. There is usually an invisible color-o-meter that I use to try and contrast masculine chromosomal aberrations in gay men and this defines my level of interest in them. The more "straightness" they possess or the more they resemble the red-blooded, straight-acting blokes that I meet on a quite regular basis and the less flamboyance and femininity they show, then Va-Va-Voom the more they become beautiful and addictive in my eyes! The higher the testosterone level the better hahahahahahaha!!!
I do not know this guy much. I only make my derivations and irrelevant conclusions from the stories related to me about him by our mutual friend. Ahhh I dislike making these inaccurate forecasts about someone because I always want to be precise about all things hehe. I have not known him on a personal level naturally. I have no idea what he likes or dislikes and I barely even have an idea who his closest friends are. Oh and another reality I forgot to mention is, he has a boyfriend hahahaha! So he has a watchdog and a guard who seems to be with him in all his portfolio of images! (Of course I have been doing some background checks hahahahaa) But that doesn't deter me hahahaha!
What baffles me though is from the few times I have seen him in person, he is hopelessly more flamboyant than I would have thought he would be. He is soft-spoken and not in a good masculine way so I don't like it! hahahahaha. This would be a major dilemma for me because I can never be attracted to someone who is probably as effeminate as my friends but maybe I am denying and trying to conceal this reality from my discerning and critical eyes because I am hopelessly and shamelessly quite enamored by him! hahahahah
(Thank you to http://hottest-guy.blogspot.com/ and to http://cinematicpassions.files.wordpress.com/ for the great pictures of Robert Downey Jr.)
