douchebag ban

just a wonderful little rant here..

oh hypocrite of a douchebag, I know you simply cannot get over the fact that it's over between both of us...

you keep saying all these shite about seeing this and seeing that and realizing this and realizing that and marking your body with my name and all that...

well I hope you keep out of my life for a long time now...forever in fact please...stop the pretense that you want us to be friends, you're the one who suggested you could never be friends with me because you thought it was forever....what a hypocrite you are.

Please stop using whatever device you have to grab my attention, you are a filthy attention whore who cannot get it from his own social circle which is why you need someone to listen to your inner voices of help and desperation...

oh dear douchebag, if there is ever one thing I want to do right now it's ERASE you from my life totally. There is nothing I would love than a clean slate of a life....washed, shined, filthy sparkling, spanking shining clean and free of your hypocrisy and bullshit.

Oh douchebag, what a waste of time you were. You never really contributed much to me except give me headaches and issues which I was never supposed to deal with. Most of those issues stemmed from your own lack of security as well as the hypocrisy you are wallowing in...

Please never attempt to talk to me again. I know your way of creating stupid aliases and IDs to just try to talk to me. Please the world knows you're pathetic and would do anything to try and get back at me or talk to me or play these silly mind games with me..

You are a big bag of issues and you need help. Your Mom and Dad can't help you, how did you expect me to? LOL I am only a Psychology graduate not a quack who can try to help the nutcase that you are, a mental recycle bin of borderline personality and childhood issues....

Most of all please stop disturbing my family. I myself never understood your garbage of a brain, how do you expect my family to?

Fuck off and die. Nobody wants you and nobody would ever have you.

You said no man would ever want to be with me ever again?

Scumbag...please...I have so many attributes and characteristics I can offer my future partner. My intentions were clean for going back into the kind of life I am living now. I am so happy I am back here rather than be the prisoner that I was.

And i know someone will be so happy and lucky to take me and have clean intentions with me...

Not like you pathetic, mental, useless, poor, filthy, sick, cancerous douchebag!!!!


LA VIVA winklergirl!!!

parallel lives...

Has it ever occurred to you how utterly frustrating it is when you have wanted to meet someone after months of anticipation and then you just miss each other by a day? a moment? He has to leave or she has to jet-set to another place and then boom! You never know when you will see each other again! And that nagging feeling consumes you because you want to and will never know what could have happened had both of you made it to that one moment, one place in time?


This is the reason why I love this age-old flick "Sliding Doors." The plot manifests into a two-fold situation where it showed both sides of a story. Gwyneth Paltrow is Helen, an attractive, young woman who just got sacked from work and was trying to catch a train to go home and relieve herself of this stressful event. Perhaps her live-in partner, Gerry might have offered the necessary moral support she needed at such a low time in her career. In the first part of the one crucial scene, she is able to make it to the train and therefore makes it back home a little bit earlier than she was expected. To which she was greeted with the loathsome scene of Gerry orgasming in the arms of another woman in their own bed in the apartment that they both live in.



The second scenario manifests itself with the train doors just shutting down and her having to take an alternative route home. She is mugged unsucessfully by a scumbag and has to go to the clinic to have a rather severe cut on her forehead taped up. She arrives home later than expected hence NOT knowing that her boyfriend just had a whirlwind day in bed with that other woman in the first scenario.

The flick begins to illustrate Helen's life in this two split but rather bizaarely similar circumstances. Similar because they are portrayed as happening at the same moment in time. The emotionally distraught Helen cuts her hair and gives it another hue. Finding and dating another guy, James and beginning the process of dealing with the postpartum depression brought about by her ex's betrayal became the pattern of the story for the first Helen. She also learns to let go of the rather clingy past.

The naive and unknowing Helen is offered rare glimpses of her boyfriend's lack of fidelity but was always in denial of the unmistakable truth. Right until the end where she eventually is led to the truth by no other than the other woman.

The first thing I can comment about this picture is that I have never really been an admirer of Gwyneth's beauty haha! But this is probably the best she looked in her whole career. She was young and I think it was around this period that she was doing movie after movie including Great Expectations (which I am going to watch in a moment!!!). Her "bankability" was at its prime during these days in my own opinion.

The second thing I can express is this film makes us see the impossible. Why impossible? Because in our lives there can never be a two-fold scenario! The parallel universe is a popular theory but one which has yet to be proven scientifically in my opinion.

We have to make a decision when we arrive at a crossroad. We have to follow one path and go through with it through to the end! There can never be a split scene which one can see a sort of parallelism going on. The closest we can get to seeing the other side of the coin is through our ASSUMPTIONS. Perhaps a derivation from an unexpected form of intuition and maybe a bit of intellect could help us arrive at a conclusion but then again this one is never with 100 % certainty.

The flick is not really a blockbuster in many aspects of the word but it offers an interesting plot which is enjoyable to watch. It is not a feel-good film but it was light-hearted enough for me to enjoy on my bed-ridden day here in HK! hehehe....

PS thanks to these sites for the photos!!!!!

www.thriller-reviews.com/?m=200803
http://www.johnhannah.net/sdoors.html
www.guardian.co.uk/film/2007/nov/24/television

two YEARS!!!

Five days ago my blog turned 2 years old..

WOW it has been that long since I started writing about nonsense and things that make sense sometimes hahaha

And WOW it has been only that short a time and there have been so many entries...I can only dream about this cherished treasure of mine reaching 5 years which would be quite the milestone.

It has been a very eventful two years for me. Never would I have imagined I would go through so many things in this span of time. Seeing the fruits of my labor and hard work as well as witnessing what bad things life has to offer me has been kept on file more or less on this blog. This is like a scrapbook and a tablet of the things happening in my life. This is probably also a barometer of how I feel at the moment more or less. (which hasn't really been the case the past few months as i have chose to keep mum and quiet about a few things in my personal life.

The amount of people that have helped me grow cannot be counted anymore. The things they have shared with me are immeasurable and valuable. They have contributed to my knowledge, experience, character, attitude towards life and skills among many facets of my life.

There are also the people who have criticized and became bitter enemies. Oh well what can I say? We cannot please everybody. Let them be for they will eventually tire of wearing me out. Their presence only makes life worth living and the product of my efforts more sweet!

And I will never be worn out haha! Believe me. I have 10 more years to live haha. Yes a short life for myself but these years will be beautiful, colorful and even more lively than the previous ones.

First of all I have to say thank you for all your support ,my very good friends who are in my team. You know yourselves! And please if you wish to be identified please I am just an email away! Do not hesitate to scold, pinch and shove me to write your name down here! I shall update this ENTRY just for you guys!!!

And well to all my detractors, I am so sorry. Your criticisms and negative overtures arrive at one ear and go through the other. Please oh please continue to do so for I know you are desperate, alone, miserable and content in your own shells and corners from which you malign me. Your issues will never go away because you can only see me as a dirty slut from your bog-stained, dusty, scum-filled faces !!!

ARRIVEDERCI, LONG LIVE la LOLA WINKLER!!!!

faggotry!!!! hahaha

hahaha this is the future of Philippine ladyboydom hahahaha







PS: thank you to http://delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/ for this video!!!

PathetEIZMmmm

Short plug: I just can't keep my hands off GOSSIP hahahahaha


Overheard from a bar in Cebu: I have a HONDA JAZZ CAR and my BOOBS cost 150 thousand PESOS to manufacture!!!!


These words, a dig and stab at my friends who were in the same bar, came from a TSgirl who has had the cosmetic works all through last year hahahahahahahah

How much did it all cost my dear? hahahahahah Isn't it funny you have had so many surgical procedures done and yet you still look as fug as this???? LOLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZ



The real point is you need to take it a notch down and work on your humility girl. It's not as if the cosmetics job you have had done have turned you into a swan like an ANGELINA JOLIE or even an ANGELICA PANGANIBAN hahahahahaa

The worse thing is she thinks every gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual person who sees her becomes insecure with how she looks now and how she has progressed! HAH! Everyone is asking right within your ear's reach, "Which angle of you is worth being insecure at?" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Girl, you need to step down a bit from the gossamer pedestal you have created for yourself. Reality is NOT everyone who has gone under the knife has necessarily looked better. You happen to be ONE of the CLASSIC EXAMPLES of going from an already BOTCHED JOB of a FACE to BEING A BUTCHERED JOB from the KNIFE! hahahahahahahaa

KISSESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS..........

UPDATE: SHE just did not bump into my friends by accident! She really did approach my pals' table and started the altercation!!!! Ranted and raved on about herself being superior to my friends because she could afford those things mentioned above!!! OMG!!!! what nerves of steel from MISS POCKMARK!!!!!

HK muzicality

this is stellar....a friend shared this music with me and i can't stop .....can't stop listening to this song EVARRRR :P

retro gorgeousness!!! hahaha

american senyoritas...

Because of its irritatingly semi-romantic but perfectly amusing unfolding, I have watched this film about three times in the last couple of weeks. The actors are stellar presences on screen but their portrayals of their respective characters in this wickedly funny flick are something I find very humorous yet engaging. Vicky Cristina Barcelona is a movie for keeps.



Two American girl friends, Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) decide to spend their summer in Barcelona. Vicky is a girl who is traditional and committed in her ways of love towards one person while Cristina is spontaneous and is willing to accept that suffering is a part of the neverending quest for love. Vicky is spurred by the love of Gaudi's art to pursue her studies of Catalan identity in Barcelona while Cristina is just out of a relationship and is in Spain to vacation...cruising, not knowing what she wants in life.

At an art exhibition they come across an artist, a painter, Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem) who is not only well-known for his paintings but more so for his messy divorce with his ex-wife Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz) which almost cost him his life too. The girls' interest in him was palpable even when they had never spoken to him. During dinner the two are approached by Juan Antonio and invited to come to Oviedo to sightsee, wine and dine and make love. Vicky finds his blunt approach to be atrocious while Cristina thinks his no-bullshit approach to be very acceptable.

Meeting the painter and spending time with him in Oviedo totally changes their lives. He was passionate about many things, and very very adept at dealing with beautiful women. Vicky, who at first skeptical towards Juan Antonio, begins to question her own beliefs and even finds herself emotionally attached to Juan Antonio. It was rather strange that it was she who first had sex with Juan Antonio as circumstance was rather unfavorable to Cristina dealing her with an ulcer when she was about to have sex with the Spanish painter.



When they come back to Barcelona Cristina, though, eventually gets around to dating Juan Antonio and they become an item. She also becomes attached to Maria Elena who after another suicidal episode has been taken in by Juan Antonio in the comfort of the home she used to share with him. The attachment between the two women becomes very physical and the three of them begin to share a rather mutual sexual relationship. When Cristina confides this phenomena to Vicky, Vicky suddenly finds her attachment to Juan Antonio, which she had been trying to subdue, resurface again.



The end of the story sees acceptance in the end at the cards fate has dealt them. Vicky accepts that she is destined to have a more traditional path of love and commitment with her fiance, Doug, while Cristina is as aimless as ever, after she has left the turmoil of Juan Antonio and Maria Elena.



I love movies like this which are have an itch to them. This itch is there because it wants us to pull for something to happen and yet it never does. I wanted Juan Antonio to sweep Vicky away on her feet but it doesn't happen and this immortalizes the movie. Penelope Cruz' acting, which by the way won her an Oscar best Supporting actress award, is just lunacy beyond comprehension which also serves as fodder for those hungering for comedy. Her Spanish and English cross-yakkings are hilarious and yet natural.

Somehow I could really connect with Vicky because although she tries to defy convention, she is held back in place by her own beliefs. She finds herself guilty whenever she does things which are so not her. She is torn inside because she knows she wants to do something but it is contradictory to the principles she hold in life.

I enjoyed the movie immensely for many things and more. It is a light comedy which tackles the emotional struggles many people have which they try to downplay because they think they are in control of their own lives but they helplessly know they're not. The realities of social acceptance and emotional freedom are illustrated in a rather blunt way in this movie which makes it a guaranteed fun watch.


PS thank you to these sites for the photos :)
http://blog.spout.com
http://slamonline.com/online/blogs/game-notes/2009/01/game-notes-pistons-at-wolves/

OMG.....

OH my God...is this my idol's face after the battering she took from Chris Brown?


ALL THE MORE REASON we DON'T WANT BOYFRIENDS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

P.S. thanks Perez Hilton for the picture :)

a dimension one owns....

There is always a point in our everyday lives where we forget about everything and just long to remain in that particular dimension and think of little or nothing else. We always retreat to that moment each day for our own personal reasons. Resistance of a destructive thought, comfort for our battered ego, or refuge for our weary minds, meaningful forays into happier times? It doesn't matter. We long to retreat to that point in space because we reach a state of NO-THOUGHT or LITTLE THOUGHT.

My mindless space takes on flesh and reality when I am in the act of running. When I am running, whether listening to music or not, I just follow a path, lines on a track, or the borders of a field and as far as I am concerned that is the only thing that occuppies space in my thoughts. I have found this endeavor to be my solitary confinement but it is not a dark space of uncertainty with a single thin line of brightness against a dark unknown world. It is an instant where I can just blank myself from anything cerebral and trudge on following the white line, watching my shoes come down on the ground from an elevated perspective, wipe the beads of sweat occasionally from my face, shove my hair out of my face if its getting in my eyes' ways, adjust my ponytail, click on my player if I dont like the music because it's slowing me down with its melancholic tempo....


Occasionally tears might run down my face! I have no idea if it's sweat escaping the barricade of my brows and streaming through to my lashes and onto my eyes or if these are genuine products of emotional blockage cracking up because of the failure of my desistance to let myself go. But most often it's the unexpected smile that's often seen by an outsider because I have let a funny or trivial thought intrude my mind in my zone of BLANKNESS...

I intend to keep this habit of mine for a long time simply because it's a worthy sojourn into an unknown state of myself. I am sure and yet unsure of what I am going to think or what I'm not going to think and this in itself makes it such a valuable exercise for my exhausted mind. My being enters into a strange homeostasis which keeps everything in a healthy balance and doesn't allow waverings from any part of me whether it be physical or mental. You should find your own sanctum of SEDATION too people. Believe me it works for me and I know it will work for you...

DELISHHH LEONA!!!!

can't stop....can't stop.....can't stop.....can't stop LISTENING to thishhhhh :D

an apt song for the moment....

musings of an ex-birthday girl

i know i owe everyone a birthday blog!

Not that it's an absolute obligation for me really as my toasted brain rarely allows me to think these days..

But anyway my birthday was a pretty sad one...

As I would describe it whenever my friends asked me how it went and how my brief overseas birthday trip went...uneventful, nothing worth-writing, and even the lowest point of my life... thank God the last description never reached their ears...well it will now if they read this....

My personal life is in shambles. I am a confused creature right now. I don't know what the future has in store for me.

I used to love peanuts and adored him and worshipped him and gave my life to him literally but he hasn't been too forgiving towards me the past coupla weeks...

I guess I can really say what goes around comes around...I wasn't too nice anyway to someone just before my birthday last year when I broke his heart too...I am so sorry if you are reading this my Perth friend. You should be happy I have finally gotten what I deserve...it took a year but it did come....

And now peanuts keeps on coming back into my life eventhough I want him out of it badly. Calls me everywhere..my landline, my mobile, my mom's mobile....hell if our dog had a mobile I bet he would have been pestering him too....

I don't want him anymore. I'm disillusioned with his promises and thoughts and impatience and yearnings and did I mention promises? I'm tired of the sacrifices, and everything I've ever had to deal with because of him...

I don't think I'm cut out for a life of commitment. I swear I said somewhere in this blog I just want a short life for myself. Short like a butterfly's rather than long like a worm's. So why should I opt for a connection that will bind me to something right?

Please talk to me people. I am really at an all-time low. Look even if you curse me continually I don't care. I guess words will be enough to keep me sane, atrocious or not...