LIISA

LIISA

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Objectify...







I think I have arrived at a point and I'm sure many of my readers and not-so-supportive followers (LOL) concur with me that at some point in my reality I have sort of melted into a strange form of materialism. The love for things. Things that are beautiful, things that are useful, things that are glamorous, things that are utilitarian but always veering towards THAT which makes me look attractive, or make me feel in some way important and grand. It doesn't really matter. Sublime, sensual lingerie, soft stockings, sky-high heels, gorgeous purses, well-tailored clothes, shimmering gadgets - it doesn't matter! Just some strange materialistic inclination has swathed itself around me the past few years. 






People attach many evils to giving into materialism. They think that objects, labels can drag you to a whirlpool of emotional disconnect and social cataclysm because you are considering objects far more important than personal relationships, or self-improvement, or finding the meaning of your existence. They think that it stagnates you because you worship what you can acquire and what you can possess. Worldly possessions are categorized right up there among the evils that await people who forget the real essential things in life. 








But I seriously believe though that materialism with some form of moderation and manageability is actually GOOD. It is a benchmark too of how far you have come in a world of things tangible to our hands, senses, mind, cognition. How else can you prove that hard work is paying off than with something material in nature? Do you really think that you labor like a farm animal because you wanted to achieve Nirvana of the mind? NO! Before you move onto that higher form of satisfaction and fulfillment, there is a satisfaction first of the BETTER things in life. Things that can be enjoyed by smell, sight, touch, comparison, enviability. If you want to attach it to STATUS so be it, I cannot move you like I can't move the volcanoes but materialism to a certain extent never hurts. 








When you have felt enough stress and pressure to unbuckle you off your comfortable pole positions or when you have worked far too hard, I am sure being a little bit materialistic would not hurt. When you have come from the boundaries of sanity and stepped off your comfort zone to achieve a particular position you have wanted to acquire in life, possessing objects is just one part of the process of giving your achievements flesh, blood and sinew - in short giving them a tangible reality!!!  And for many of us, when you come from next to nothing early in life and had to scrape by for every little morsel when you were penniless, maybe materialism is the validation of the horizons you have reached, the state of EVERYTHING-ness you have so wanted after years of want with NOT! Hard and fruitful work SHOULD beget great things especially if you produce something beautiful, you are talented enough, intelligent enough and multifaceted enough. If you believe you are worth something then materialism is one aspect where you can validate all that you have achieved in life. It can't be all that bad! 






We need affirmation in some guise, we need something to hang onto in a limbo of a world where realities can become cruel, impersonal, deceptive. Acquiring things can be one method for many people to inject some sanity into their restless, tumultuous and often directionless lives. Just like that interesting scene in that fantastic movie, "INCEPTION" we need a spinning top to ascertain that we are still hanging onto worldly existence, that we have not totally succumbed to a maelstrom of uncertainty and discombobulation because of the harshness of our daily realities. For me perhaps my spinning top is materialism. Sorry Leonardo Di Caprio, I should choose something more original, a gyrating Rubik's Cube perhaps? 













Monday, May 7, 2012

the die is cast....













Whenever I watch Adam Sandler in the movies he stars in, I'm almost inclined to scream, "Can't he just stop doing movies where he plays a single dad with middle-class range income, a son or daughter or two in-tow, beer belly that's getting there, the aura and posture of the quintessential American loser and hackneyed hideous California bum accent of someone who always seems to have a hangover?" Why can't he just be a young, smooth-faced, pale-skinned vampire who chews on the throats of female victims he has seduced? Or am I getting bombarded by these creatures-of-the-night genre series too much that I was able to mention them now? And to go with the train of thought I am currently on, also suspect that these blood-suckers might as well just be creatures-of-the-day because of their highly saturated relevance and exposure to the average pop-corn-eating American crowd? 




Must the world run on templates? Cliches? 




It doesn't have to be but if you carefully examine OUR lives, the lives we have to lead, because of the occupational (not mine! HAHA), cultural, social dynamics we have to fit into, we are living cliches of lives! I hate to say this but the average foreign person here in Singapore also seems to fit a cliche. Or does this frame of mind just come into the open because it becomes too painfully obvious to me whenever I open my eyes in a foreign country? 




I said cliche because most of the people who are alien to this country seem to follow a certain pattern in lifestyle. They'll huddle on their beehives of homes and units, whether ALONE or not and whenever they're bored they go out to SHOP, coffee, or walk around like silly. They'll alcohol once in a while but the costs of partying would be too much to do it on a daily basis! They'll have a girlfriend, an accessory for someone to look PARTNERED haha, sorry I have bucketfuls of respect for the temple of LOVE but when you're looking like you just have to have company to LOOK PARTNERED then I do not have respect for that HAHAHA






Sorry I am not condemning the LIFESTYLE but it feels sad that we all have to fit into a template in order for us to arrive at an image, a STATUS QUO to be maintained. 






Life doesn't always have to be cliche though. At least if you can muster the courage to be different, to stand out. to just not live the bumper-sticker of a life. At the same time, I am truly committed and I think there has to be A LOT OF emphasis on trying TO rebel and look cool and be non-conforming WITHOUT and yes the emphasis is on WITHOUT looking like you are trying way too hard to do it. It's paramount for me I believe. I mean if you have to be different but end up like you are doing it beyond your capability then I am sorry it is futile because eventually you will exhaust yourself and you will just go back to being Plain-Jane living the cookie-cutter life! HAHA






It always pays to be SMART too. Not necessarily microchip-intelligent, but to be well-read, well-versed, well-educated simply is a distinction that cuts across all platforms. It's so amazing when you have looks and brains and it really is almost a free pass to COOLness because very few people possess this. Working on the personality will come after you believe you have these two major components within you. SHYNESS is not an option, this destroys all possibilities of being unique. What if you possess all the good qualities mentioned above but cannot overcome this infernal barrier of self-withdrawal from situations of dealing with other people? It's futile if you do not assert yourself in a conversation or any situation. 






We walk a fine line these days. Everything seems to be blur into gray areas that many barely recognize as visible and existent and as a consequence lose themselves in the huddle of the masses of cliches walking all around the city. It is a great divide which makes us question. Should we stop being pneumatic robots that fit into the cookie-cutter casts allocated for us in the great social picture or should we risk a life filled with unique possibilities that make us look barely normal and therefore risk the scrutiny and even isolation of the rest of the populace, and even our close peers? 






Decisions, decisions, decisions...

























Tuesday, May 1, 2012

on RE-pea-pea-pea-PEAT





Soulful...




Meaningful...




Relevant...




Emotionally paralyzing...




That's how I like my songs...




Oh and did we already know he has a fantastic voice? Geez Singers should, like dancers need two feet to become good ones... noh? 




KISSES and LOTS OF HUGS from SINGAPORE
Winklergirl

Saturday, April 7, 2012

ShowGirl!!!







I'm a big fan of pageants and I love supporting friends who join them...but for me to be on stage, I think it's just not worth it and the money is really really bad!
It's like trying to go THE extra mile yet you're on first gear and barely moving  hahahahah!




But on a balmy Saturday night I finally broke ground and joined one and voila! I had so much fun like I've never had it in such a long time!!!




For my VIP members at 


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/liisawinklergirl/


have I told you this was going to be a year with a lot of STUNNING PHOTOS???? WELL.....I've uploaded lots of photos from the show!!!! They're gorgeous too as I  grabbed some of them from somebody's beautiful lens!!!




ENJOY and i love y'all!!!!!




Wicked Winklergirl



Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Tuesday the 13th











My blog turned 5 years old last March 10, 2012!!! 






Here's to the past five years of wackiness! My God he is getting older and hopefully
heavier! I hope I can write more than I did in the past year! I know I owe it to him and to people who read me that although I feel my literary writing has suffered from this resurgence of my social life and online absence, I am still on my way to better writings and ideas. I have the talent and I am not letting it go just yet. 




It's been such a journey for the both of us - the highs and lows: it's become like a barometer of my own feelings, an extension of my thoughts and a logbook for my experiences! I have reached quite the milestone - five F**KING years of brilliance and mediocrity in a mixed bag of nuts but who cares! 




FIVE YEARS!!!!!!




I love you all of my fans who worship the Gospel of the Wicked Winklergirl!!!




Big KISS





Thursday, March 8, 2012

head games



Evolution of the head gear in tennis..


Click on the photo and try to guess the names of as many players as you can...


Don't cry if you can't!!! Hihihihih





Just having fun as it's been a tiring day!!!


Big Kiss


Friday, March 2, 2012

BRILLIANCE!!!!! J'ADORE!!!!!!!!!!!







My latest photos are out now in my VIP GROUP!!! Feel free to view them, critique, comment, dissect and analyze!!! I absolutely love negative and positive feedback as long as I know you exist! HAHA! 




Some of my looks in the photos are so raw, so right-down-to-my-very-core I just love the way they were captured by my brilliant photographer here in Singapore - he is ZEUS on the lens!!! Tres magnifique!!!!!! 






I love you all who are inside my cabal of a yahoo group and don't forget to continue showering me with gifts of cash, lingerie, shoes, makeup etcetera!! HAHAHAHAHAHA kiddingggggg...




Email winklergirlblog@yahoo.com for queries on how to join!!!


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/liisawinklergirl




MWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Melancholia









So I attribute the austere inactivity and deafening silence of the writer in me to many things. Laziness, writer's block, mental block, sexual block and strange things. Many many strange things are happening internally. 








I've come to the realization that the appropriation of a big percentage of my life to more reality-based activities such as working out, partying with friends, late-night forays, grooming young talent for sexual development etcetera is worthwhile and fulfilling not to mention refreshing. I rarely ever went online the past couple of months unless I facebook, perezhilton (showbiz yakks), yahoo group and the occasional odd forum. I hate messenger chats now. Where I was a whiz at managing chat boxes up and down, talking to different types of personalities, kissing ass here and there, now I'm inept and inutile. The occasional email will flutter into my inbox but I've learned to streamline who I talk to. Messages asking me my latest perversion is sure to go to the recycle bin. Messages asking my whereabouts will warrant a second look especially if they're from the close network of people I know from around the world but from some anonymous email who I think maybe the shit-for-brains ex's scheme at lack of attention? Certainly will get the nod of the trash inbox! But gifts of lingerie from anyone? Forever welcome! hahahaha! Waste of time is waste of effort. Waste of effort means the useless expenditure of emotions and energy which I do not really want to partake in these days. I just cannot stand people who stress me too much and are not worth stressing over. God I must be getting old. 








There's more to life than just being online. I'm not totally cutting out my online existence of course. My existence is my subsistence HAHA! I am just encouraging everyone to please explore the world away from your keyboards and screens! There is a whole lot to explore and visually exploit. Not everything is Adobe picture-perfect but nothing is NOT worth-experiencing. Go to the beach, hit the cinemas, buy expensive wine, hang out and talk to people, don't be cheap, spend some, earn more! Stop downloading movies, limit your porn torrents (HA! guilty as fuck :P) and your porn photos. The biggest scandals do not happen with the click of a camera, they happen outside your screens. Exercise, buy a racket and USE IT, run, jump, hide and seek! Move your ass before your ass takes a hold of your body. The first one to come and the last one to go is ... OUR BELLY so exercise and get rid of that muffin top! Reminds me of Miss Cross-dressing Eddie Murphy in that hilarious comedy movie. 






I guess my everyday existence during the past few months can be summarized in the previous paragraph. It's weird too and I might be legally liable for this so arrest me but I have sort of fallen into the spiral of getting (???) seduced or seducing boys younger than me. Barely legal too? MAYBE! Am I pedophile-ic? MAYBE! HELL NO! But I feel the need to share my body, my beauty, and my skills in the boudoir! How strange but still I practice the mantra "Desire me and I will give it to you!" Mutual attraction is paramount and it's easy enough for me anyway HAHAHA (so modest). However the singular young-guy incident that stood out to me was I did not have sex with one I was really attracted to. He's a lot lot younger than me and very intelligent and quite entrepreneurial. We watched online (duh!!!) movies, ate breakfast together and slept together but hey my God I proved to myself I could sleep with another male, so close that no compact disc (do they still manufacture theseeee???)  could come between us WITHOUT having to copulate with him!!!! Armageddon is here...








The issue of the network of friends that I allow into my circle, well that certainly really shaped up how I spent the past few months because really there is no need to pursue broken friendships. Even if the friendship seemed vital and long-lasting, you can never really tell WHO has changed or whether I have changed in the process. The few people I allow into my life now are those I have proven to have no subterfuge, no intentions. I do enjoy friends, laughs and bonds but hey in the end I am the type of person who never really trusts anyone. Sad but it's the only real way to exist for me. 






And lastly one of the chanteuses who truly shaped the soundtrack of my life has gone to another phase of existence. This also became a source of depression for me especially last week. I've listened and sung to her many tunes (gosh so pop!) LOL but truly if you wring the essence out of her music, there is a lot to relate to, a lot to cherish and a lot to attribute certain parts of our lives to. A true talent of fantastic proportions, and a remarkable identity in our music world I don't think we will ever find another voice like hers. RIP Miss WH. 






Wow I need a doctor. These are probably symptoms of a looming mid-life crisis. Gosh I'm too young for that crap! I wonder how I will look like when that happens. Come to think of it, I don't think I'll get anywhere near that phase...hey what did I tell you? DYING YOUNG! :-)



Monday, December 5, 2011

MAGNIFICENT!!!





Love my latest photoshoot after almost two years!!!! 







I'm heavy on the 'mones now so I love the totally more womanly look and my dear Singaporean photographer was fantastic in everything from lighting to patience to my coffee breaks!!! I was a challenge to work with and I am so thankful to him!!


Come and seek entry onto my VIP group to view my latest photos!!


http://groups.yahoo.com/group/liisawinklergirl


LOVE you my VIP membersssssss :D 



Sunday, November 13, 2011

grateful for life....











Watching short documentaries about too many realities of our world as well as our own psychological realities has been a hobby of mine since time immemorial. From cryptozoology to urban legend-like coverups, I love them all as long as they're within the scope of my powers of comprehension. 




Since I've barricaded myself inside my new room (which is bigger, better, more airy) with all the amenities except for a bathroom, I can virtually hibernate and not be seen around town for days, only going out for my yoga and badminton. And I have lots of time on my hands to pore through these short television documentaries. 




Suicide has social stigma imprinted all over it, across all cultures and religions. I've talked about it several times the past few years since I started my blog based on personal views. I've never been close with someone who has done it but I do know people who have committed it and succeeded unfortunately. I've also always taken a stance where I'm against it. I don't condone it and I highly pity the people who have had to resort to this form of desertion of their own realities. 






However a certain segment in the documentary program which tackled suicide as a cultural reality in a certain tribal community here in the Philippines has led me NOT TO rethink my own views but to somehow respect the reality that somehow suicide MAY also be respectable as long as it does not desecrate other people's beliefs by being regulated as a practice to be upheld by religious or cultural necessity and obligation. 






People of the Kulbi tribe in a certain municipality in Rizal, Palawan in the Philippines have mixed beliefs about the concept of suicide but mostly coalescing into a general premise that it may be natural and even acceptable as long as the reasons for doing so are within the confines of honor and respectability. This is what I could derive from watching the documentary at least. 






But after reading several sources and re-watching the program the people being interviewed seemed stable and well-grounded, they enjoyed what life in general has to offer and the community values are not grounded on despair and depression. There are even people who are puzzled about existence of suicide in their culture. There must be an individuality to the commitment of self-destruction and a passivity of behavior among the people who are witnesses to this phenomena for it to be an anomaly and yet a regular occurrence in their own community. Belief in the forces of the inevitability of one's own "destiny", and in the ABSENCE of an "afterlife" the lack of control over the forces of human emotions, a low threshold towards the pain of suffering a sickness and old age as well as filial conflicts within the tight fabric of relatives are among the major factors contributing to the suicidal tendencies among the affected members of the Kulbi people. 






One example which has several issues factoring into the commitment of suicide involves one recent incident in their town. A whole family killed themselves after one of their own children suffered death after a recent natural disaster (flooding I believe). We WOULD attribute this sort of bizarre behavior to depression under our own normal, "trapped," suburban or urban circumstances but to them it seems that missing one of their kin, filial devotion extending up to the other life, the overwhelming love for one of their own and the attachment to them was enough reason for the easy way out. 






Another common scenario for incidences of suicide especially among the young men in the tribe is failure to meet the expectations in gender-related connections. Some men feel that they are financially incapable of paying the dowry for an object of their affection or embarrassment from impregnating a woman without the means for economic support for the "future family" they might put into a whole life of jeopardy. This in my opinion is NOT THAT socially unacceptable because it places in high regard honor their male-hood and the role they play in society. The social role of father and provider for the men in their tribe is a powerful tool for them to maintain honor and name so that it becomes a major issue especially if they cannot fulfill this role to the best of their ability. It must take so much courage and deep self-searching to eradicate one's own existence because one cannot fulfill the responsibility of a man as defined by their society! 






The most common form of voluntary life-taking has always been hanging oneself with a rope. But among the younger generation of the Kulbi people the drinking of extremely saturated concoctions of a type of coconut-based alcohol as well as a native pesticide has become common forms of self-destruction. Some even become exhibitionistic in such a manner where right before dying they parade in front of their families in a display of courage or bravado I presume.  






The acceptability of certain strange practices is defined by a society's beliefs, culture and tradition. I myself am guilty of a little bit of imposition because I have already used the word "STRANGE" when it is up to the concerned people to define what is bizarre to them or not. The interjection of new teachings and ideas that are totally different to the original beliefs of the tribe will only result in something futile and even result in internal conflicts among the concerned. In the documentary, a woman tried to educate the Kulbi people with her Christian and Western beliefs because she believed that she could alter their socially unacceptable suicidal practices. But in my opinion this will only convolute the people's otherwise straight and rigid existence. Who is she to dictate what is socially displeasing to these people? They've held onto their ideas for hundreds of years and have otherwise lived a joyous and undisturbed existence despite the high rates of suicide in their communities. Why should she try muddle the clarity and purity of their existence by introducing her twisted Christian beliefs? 






In the end, taboo or not, respect should be accorded where it is due. The values of people who do not conform to our social definition of civilization should be upheld ESPECIALLY if they do not force their own beliefs on us. Considering that they are a minority, there is no reason to fear the widespread influence of their practices be they arcane or morbid or not. All societies be they primitive or modern need an outlet for their peoples' frustrations, psychological conflicts and pent-up creativities. If suicide is the Kulbi people's form of adjusting to the chaos of life's vagaries who are we to condemn this? The more perverse among us practice self-infliction of pain, drinking piss and scat as forms of sexual gratification, murdering people and animals as physical and psychological exerise!!!! So let's stop taking the moral high ground and broaden our scope of accepting the arcane and the seemingly socially unacceptable.....

Friday, November 4, 2011

disjointed and pathetic...









The recent events of the past couple of weeks have sort of placed me in a creative and emotional slump. 




I've sort of lost something within the chaos of my inner self. I cannot put a finger on what it is. I am not necessarily pointing to negative events contributing to this event. Some wonderful circumstances have also made me lose myself in a toxic high and low. My moods swivel from exuberance to a paranoidal depression. I don't know what's happening. Everything happening in my life now takes on a dreamy phase. Sometimes I feel I am detached from my physical self and am watching the wonderful and pathetic realities of my life from a third-person perspective. 




I am drifting, floating through my daily existence. Going through my yoga classes like an automaton, seeing people and partying as if I have an obligation to make myself happy, keep the loneliness out of my life. Getting panicky about uncertain things in my future for no reason at all. The really bad thing is I know and am aware of what is happening and what is not. It seems like I can't get a grip on things too often




I attribute these feelings sometimes to my inhumane and large doses of hormones. It must be one contributing factor because a sudden jolt of hormones in every human being always reaches past the physical level and onto the mental. I do not discredit this reality. However this is an inevitable portion of my life. This is a reality I always face, that I must take massive doses so to make up for the months when I am not on them. 






My intoxicating attraction to Asian-Oriental looking guys is soaring like a heroin high. Anyone who looks Asian, well-proportioned and talks with an English/Aussie/American accent makes me go nuts. I met a half-Chinese and half Australian guy recently in Boracay island while I was there with friends and my thoughts were embroiled in a confused cocktail of desire, lust, affection.. Every sense of emotion seemed heightened. We were only flirting and fondling and kissing each other on the beach for less than half an hour but I strangely felt a connection. I feel very fragile as a result. I can't shake it off. My friends told me it will be so easy for me to get another guy. But that singular event is embedded like a parasite in my system. 






I'm also very attracted to a gay man if that make any sense to my already wrecked situation. It is quite insane for me to post this because he is a very close friend. This I shall keep to myself and not expound too much on here. I avoid him like the plague because I am afraid of getting too close. I will not get too close. 






I know I am rambling but I feel lost. I feel so much discord in my life the past couple of weeks. Maybe I need therapy, maybe I need a good chastising.






I hope I get my act together and write something significant here....













Monday, October 10, 2011

The rhythm and rhyme of my boudoir...





I am now on the cusp and UBER excited to launch my ultra private new blog which I am still in the process of naming..




I am thinking of calling it LE WINKLERGIRL EROTIQUE...(you can email suggestions: blogwinklergirl@hotmail.com and I would highly appreciate it!!!)




Basically written in a format of short stories where I sort of chronicle the deeper and darker mysteries of my profession. The sensual experiences I have had with the people I have experienced in the boudoir with of course the funny quirk that only yours truly can deliver. The emotional treks of Andalusian proportions I have had to go through dealing with the devious, the uncanny, the player and the slanderers...all of them MEN!












I have just finished one narrative which my mentor has thoroughly enjoyed. I have interwoven humorous takes and intelligent insights onto the sensual acts in the stories which may strip the narratives of the lyricism and poetry that we are used to reading from erotic writers. But I perfectly acknowledge my amateurishness and lack of proper writing background which is why if somebody enjoys it, it only adds to whatever happiness I can extract out of the effort of writing and re-illustrating it in my mind :)




I am awaiting word from my "special" mentor to give me the go signal. Otherwise if he finds faults in the writings I will have to keep them private and for the both of us to cherish....AND a few special people to let in...













Tuesday, October 4, 2011

figments of MYTh and FOLKLORE





Partying has never been my thing but with the right friends who knows? I think it's a little fair to let go of oneself and lose the cerebral cells a little bit. After all everyone assumes I don't have a life whenever I travel, first because I travel without company and second, the assumption is I've given up going to the bathroom because of the parade of men wanting to see me...DUH! Believe me I have too much time on my hands that I can take the train to the ends of the country I work in and back to the four walls of my hotel, but not without phone calls or SMSes to take care of though. And I do have fun aside from shopping and coffee-ing. So there you are! Yes i do go clubbing and and getting tipsy and wasted! But not on Stella Artois anymore please....(To those who follow me too much!)


Some new-found friends I have, all of them gay, have opened a whole dimension to my Saturday night. I would choose gay over straight anyway as most straight "friends" I meet want to jump my bones and screw the hell out of me albeit in different levels of actuation. The gay pals seem to delight in bringing me to their favorite queer club. The club is a blast, there is hardly enough space to dance, there are many beautiful people and there is a Trojan war at the bar to get drinks which is why it's a great place! You need a good face and tits to elbow your way through the sea of people and catch the waiter or barman's attention hahahah!!! I won't mention the name of the club but I suppose if you want a free fuck look around the gay clubs in Tanjong Pagar where my inebriation might make me mistake you for a handsome tennis player after several rounds of rhum and cocktails! hahah I'm kiddinggggg... But seriously my tour has become so much fun because I am able to just forget work and let loose, dancing to familiar and unfamiliar tunes but most of them intended to unleash the diva in gay men. Now that is another thing i want to talk about.


The world is so unbelievably fucked up I think. When I look at many of the gay men in the club, they're the epitome of how every straight man wants to look like so he can have women throwing themselves at him. They're so well-dressed, delicious, funny, wild, and enviably well-scented that I seem to always want to bite their neck! But they won't have me, well at least the majority of them. Because they want something similar to them or ermmmm more manly. Straight men seem to be the caviar in the menu of gay men's sexual exploits. But they settle for other gay men who act as manly as straight people because they're sex-starved bitches who have to hide in different layers of closets in the light of day due to family, work and peer pressure. And probably their only valve for the Electra-complex boiling in their subconscious is copulation with straight-esque gay or STRAIGHT men.


But at the same time, straight men, the object of many gay men's wet dreams, will most likely have nothing to do with gay people because they love the feminine, the soft, and nubile form of women. And as per their curiosity anyway, they will of course naturally dig anything that resembles woman, ME! This part I do not know if it is innate in every man, the bisexuality part that is. Most bisexuals I know dig MEN and WOMEN, not the androgynous. But yes I hate arriving at this part again, the labels game.

I just want to illustrate that the sexual lives of people can be fucked up! HAHAHAHAHA

Gay men dig gay and straight men, they disdain women and feminine looking boys, STRAIGHT men desire women and what looks very feminine but disdain the rough hands of Steve, the humorous and euphemistic name for queer men! Feminine "girls" like me find GAY MEN to be the emblem of STRAIGHT MAN beauty and perfection and DESIRE them queer boys but at the same time appreciate the admiration given us by straight or bisexual men! Whew it's a Tower of Babel of labels and it's making my head swirl!!!


Because of this strange maelstrom in my head from thinking about this phenomena, my sexual tastes have evolved yet again. There is no relevance at all to what I was ranting earlier about but I will still conclude this entry anyway with something that I want to get off my chest.


I do still like and desire SKINNY, tall, Caucasian men generally but I now have a similar-ish inclination for well-proportioned, beautiful and skinny and tall-ish Asian boys. I did not really dig Chinese or Malaysian or Thai blokes before but by God, the strange abominable club, my queer friends have introduced me to, has opened my eyes to these beautiful creatures. Asian boys are the new mermaids in the my sexual landscape. Mermaids because they are elusive mentally - they don't baby me like the Western dudes do, they don't necessarily adhere to what I deem true and real, and they have a different mindset, they don't like equals, they compete too. I abhor myself for admitting this out in public but yeah! That's the that! LOLLLLLL


Love you all
Winklergirl